The Lefkovits Family Park Mikvah presented a “Virtual Evening of CommUNITY” on April 25. The event featured an entertaining and engaging program of inspiration with local rebbetzins from area synagogues: Rebbetzin Chaya Drucker, Rebbetzin Surele Eichenstein, Rebbetzin Tamar Feldman, Rebbetzin Rivka Jaffe, Rebbetzin Debbie Kaufmaan, Rebbetzin Faigie Luban, Rebbetzin Dr. Shoshi Malitzky and Rebbetzin Gila Miodownik, with opening divrei chizuk from Rebbetzin Cyrel Brudny.
More than 280 people signed up to hear the question-and-answer, interview-style program that seamlessly blended spiritually uplifting vignettes with hashkafic discourse, revelations into the human side of being a rebbetzin, life lessons and moments of humor.
Following a welcome by Esther Posen, mikvah co-president, the moderators asked each rebbetzin their questions.
One common question was how to balance the demands of a busy work life and family. Rebbetzin Miodownik, Ahavas Achim, noted that our priorities constantly shift as job responsibilities change, children grow up, etc. Women need to realize that what we used to be able to do may be too much for our current stage in life, or that we notice that we are able to do more. The key is to be self-aware and understand what you can or cannot do and plan your schedule accordingly.
Rebbetzin Feldman of Agudath Yisroel noted that we should be careful if we engage too much in work or volunteering in the community if it is to the detriment of our families, and rethink our priorities. She added that having each person at the dinner table say what they are grateful for every day puts the focus on the good and makes for a nice daily ritual.
Rebbetzin Drucker noted that family-centric activities, such as a daily family dinner, are important ways to develop family cohesion and resilience in children. Seeing family members—including parents—talk about their day creates strong bonds. She also said that having a bedtime ritual where each child gets to talk to a parent individually also develops family bonding, and does spending a few minutes after Havdala where each family member notes specific needs or schedule changes for the upcoming week.
Several rebbetzins spoke about how they get the family involved and interested in Shabbat and holidays. Rebbetzin Jaffe, of Ahavas Yisroel, noted how she prepares for each Shabbat and holiday with music. Connecting with age-appropriate music and hearing the sounds throughout the house are great ways for her family to prepare.
Rebbetzin Eichenstein, Ateres Shlomo, reminisced about things that her grandmother did to make Shabbat and Yom Tov special for the family, especially the children. She noted that when Shabbat preparations begin on Sunday, it not only means that Fridays are less hectic, but that all activities add up to promote the Shabbat. She noted that this is hardest for teenagers, as they work hard in their preparations, yet often the grownups forget to thank them for their efforts and they feel unappreciated. When there are large numbers of Shabbat guests, the teens are also often neglected as they are too old for the children’s table and activities, yet not quite ready for full adult participation. It is important to keep them in mind and make eye contact with them (and everyone else) at the table.
Rebbetzin Luban, Ohr Torah, stated that mutual respect is critical for shalom bayit. Without mutual respect there is no love; development of mutual respect will increase love and create an environment in which spouses want to make each other happy and are willing to compromise, creating shalom bayit.
Rebbetzin Feldman said that having a “date night” with your spouse may be even more important in these COVID times because of the amount of time and intensity of life spent at home. With so much going on, she said, it is important not to neglect our most important relationship and to refocus our energies on who and what is important.
Rebbetzin Kaufman, Ohav Emeth, noted that one of the benefits of being a rebbetzin is the freedom of being able to talk to people and connect with them in ways that she would not be able to do otherwise. She had not realized when she first became a rebbetzin how much she loved people and making connections with them—remembering events that happened in the lives of congregants and following up with them at later stages.
Rebbetzin Dr. Malitzky, Ohr Torah, added how important it is that there be positive role models for our youth.
As one of the nearly 40 sponsors of the event, Highland Park resident Lisa Goldberg said, “The mikvah is an essential part of our Orthodox community and I always sponsor their annual event.” She noted how all the rabbis and rebbetzins work together on behalf of the community, which is what makes Highland Park such a special place to live.
The Lefkovits Family Park Mikvah serves women in the Highland Park/Edison area and beyond. For more information or to get involved, visit them at https://parkmikvah.org/.
