The tzadik Reb Simcha Bunim of Peshischa, zy’a, was one of the most impactful leaders of the Chasidic movement. He led his talmidim along an expansive path, encouraging a broad embrace of intellectual study and rationalism, coupled with passionate introspection, authenticity and individuality.
Like the Baal Shem Tov, Reb Simcha would take his chevreh on mysterious trips and outings, during which Divine providence would deliver them some powerful, experiential lesson in avodah or elevated midos. Once, the group was ba-derech and stopped for the night at a kosher inn. The host, who was in the midst of preparing dinner, welcomed them warmly and invited them to settle in.
Before their meal was served, the assembled began to interrogate the arendar regarding his level of kashrus. Where did the meat come from? Who was the shochet and is he a yirei Shamayim? Did he check the knife immediately before the shechitah? Was the fleish rinsed, soaked and salted correctly according to the strictest opinion?
Another traveler, a simple beggar sitting by the hearth, overheard the numerous questions, and spoke up: “My brothers! About what goes into your mouths, you are so makpid, exacting and sensitive. May you have such high standards about what comes out of your mouths as well!”
The rebuke of the simple Yid caught the attention of Reb Simcha Bunim. “Chevreh, eat your fill,” he grinned, “in the morning we’ll return to Peshis’cha. We have accomplished the purpose of our journey.”
~
וַתְּדַבֵּר מִרְיָם וְאַהֲרֹן בְּמשֶׁה עַל־אֹדוֹת הָאִשָּׁה הַכֻּשִׁית אֲשֶׁר לָקָח כִּי־אִשָּׁה כֻשִׁית לָקָח:
Miriam and Aharon spoke against Moshe regarding the Cushite woman he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman. (12:1)
Rashi notes that the term דִּבּוּר connotes a harsh way of speaking. Whereas the pasuk says both siblings used this form of speech in reference to Moshe, Miriam’s name is first, suggesting that she initiated the conversation. This is why she is held accountable and stricken with tzaraas.
When Miriam heard that her younger brother Moshe had separated from his wife Tzipporah in order to attain a higher level of spiritual d’veikus, she turned to her brother Aharon HaKohen to discuss her concerns privately. Motivated solely l’sheim Shamayim, Miriam actually praised her sister-in-law Tzipporah as a righteous woman, and expressed her feeling that their brother’s decision seemed inappropriate.
Miriam was a loving sister who had risked her life to protect Moshe, watching over him as an infant when he was cast upon the waters of the Nile. Committed out of respect and sincere concern, her infraction doesn’t seem to be so severe. She was only raising questions regarding Moshe’s exclusive-sounding approach to avodas Hashem, and was concerned for Tzipporah and her shalom bayis. She meant well and did not wish her beloved brother any harm. Yet, there was some subtle harshness in her words, and despite her good intentions, Miriam was ‘rebuked’ and suffered from tzaraas.
~
Chazal enumerate six mitzvos of ‘remembrance’. Among them, one refers to the episode that takes place in our sedra involving Miriam’s comments about her brother: “Remember what Hashem did to Miriam ba-derech, as you were leaving Egypt” (Devarim, 24:9). Ramban explains that this verse is a positive commandment on par with other Biblically mandated zechiros or mitzvos of ‘remembrance’. Those include to “remember the day of Shabbos”, to remember Yetziat Mitzrayim, and to remember what Amalek did to us. To fulfill these six mitzvos every day, many recite the Sheish Zechiros printed in the Siddur after Shacharis.
Beyond memorializing these six moments in time as impactful experiences in Jewish history, each of these ‘remembrances’ calls our attention to a deeper message within the experience. The mitzvah of ‘remembering what Hashem did to Miriam…’ is not just focusing on what Miriam said per se, nor solely calling to mind the laws of lashon haa. In a deeper way, this mitzvah is also urging us to remember, daily, that even a tzadeikes as praiseworthy as Miriam, the holy prophetess — and when she meant well — even such a person can make a mistake.
ומה מרים שלא נתכוונה לגנותו, כך נענשה, קל וחומר למספר בגנותו של חבירו:
“If Miriam, who did not intend to disparage him [Moses], was punished, all the more so someone who intentionally disparages his fellow” (Tanchuma, Tzav, 13).
Certainly, it is praiseworthy and holy to be machmir on laws of kashrus and what we put into our mouths. But even when we are on the level to do so — and even when we mean well — we need to ‘remember’ to have sensitivity about what we say to others, and how we say it. And this is especially crucial in relation to our brothers and sisters, those who are close to us.
May we learn from all our mysterious journeys and experiences ba-derech, and become a blessing to everyone around us.
Rav Judah Mischel is executive director of Camp HASC, the Hebrew Academy for Special Children. He is the mashpiah of OU-NCSY, founder of Tzama Nafshi and the author of “Baderech: Along the Path of Teshuva.” Rav Judah lives in Ramat Beit Shemesh with his wife Ora and their family.
