During the Passover seder, many Jews read the Haggadah by committee, going around the table as each participant reads a paragraph or two. It is not unlike a relay race, as one reader passes the proverbial baton to the next. It is an effective way to increase participation and maintain interest, at least until the meal is served.

The problem, however, is that some people at the seder table may not want to read aloud from the Haggadah in solo fashion. The reluctant readers among us often wind up participating against their will, which can lead to some very awkward, tension-filled moments. Of course, there are many reasons why a person would not want to read aloud from the Haggadah for all at the table to hear. Let’s address some of the main concerns:

1. Reading in Hebrew: Let’s face it: some seder participants are not comfortable reading in Hebrew. That said, if you are having a seder with your parents and they have spent their hard-earned dollars giving you some form of Jewish education, then you likely will feel pressure to read aloud in Hebrew so that your parents can see and hear that their investment has paid off. So, if you simply read a few lines of Hebrew from the Haggadah, your parents likely will consider their investment in Jewish education as money well spent, even if you wind up reading like a “Tam” or a “She’aino Yodea Lishol.”
2. Reading in English: Many scholars will tell you that reading the Haggadah in English is perfectly acceptable and even preferable if you do not understand the Hebrew. In other words, comprehension is key. This does not mean that your parents will be happy with your decision to recite in the vernacular. If you can withstand the guilt-tripping glares of disappointment and despair, then proceed in English.
3. Angling for Preferred Paragraphs: Usually, there is no full-proof strategy that can be employed to secure a choice reading. The host will go around the table clockwise or counterclockwise, so once you have taken your seat your fate is sealed and you reading is essentially pre-determined. Yes, you can conveniently excuse yourself to the restroom just before your turn arrives, but that would be a cowardly and likely transparent maneuver that would come back to haunt you. The payback would come on your next turn to read when the well-meaning host forces you to recite a double portion to make up for your missed opportunity on the first go-round. Others at the table, through bribery, blackmail or other tactics, might try to seize shorter and/or easier paragraphs to read. Doing so can come off as desperate and weird. You are better off just following the classic nursery school lesson that “you get what you get and you don’t get upset.”
4. Reading Too Fast or Too Slow: Reading too fast is seldom a problem because the others around the seder table likely will be impressed with your speedy fluency and happy that the meal will arrive that much faster. Reading too slowly can have the opposite effect, i.e., others will judge or possibly critique your molasses-like reading skills and they also will resent you for the dinner delay. So, when in doubt (and if you want people to like you), pick up the pace.
5. More Than Just Reading: For the record, everyone at the seder table should be encouraged to ask questions because such exchanges are paramount. (There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers.) This does not mean, however, that every time it is your turn to read, you should feel obligated to add your unsolicited color commentary. In many cases, you should just stick to the script and you should not start freelancing unless you have a truly novel or worthwhile observation. In certain instances, your comments and questions might enhance the seder but even if that is the case, do not allow yourself to get carried away. Do not start pontificating on meaningless issues like whether Moses knew how to whistle or whether Pharaoh wore socks. Do not wax poetic on whether the Golden Calf was 14-karat or whether the Egyptians caught up to the Hebrews by following their trail of matzah crumbs. Just read your designated paragraph and keep your “brilliance” to yourself unless the moment and mood actually demand your two-cents. If you don’t control yourself, then the next time your turn comes around, you likely will be… passed over.

Final thought: If you’re allowed to read, then read aloud.

By Jon Kranz