On Friday, March 3, Rabbi Yaakov Mintz approached some members of the RKYHS Jewish Life Committee, and asked if they would be interested in paying a shiva call to the Ganeles family, in West Hartford, Connecticut, on Taanit Esther. The students expressed their consensus, and also mentioned how they were connected to Elan, HY”D. Some students had siblings who knew him. One student mentioned how his brother had been very fond of him; he expressed after his brutal slaughter that “he was one of the only people who remembered my name [after meeting him only once or twice] … he was very funny and received everyone in good countenance.”
By Sunday night, the group of students that was to pay the shiva call the next day consisted of Meira Waldstreicher, Jonah Siegel, Michal Fink and Ella Mordekai, Rabbi Mintz and myself.
After departing from Kushner the next day, the students discussed who Elan had been, and went over procedures and expectations for the shiva. They were also told that they would have to leave by noon, because the family did not want any more visitors after that time.
When they arrived, they were greeted by the president and then the rabbi of the Young Israel of West Hartford. With about 25 minutes to spare, we made their way into the room where the family was sitting shiva. Due to the sheer magnitude of other people there, the group had to wait a couple of minutes before they had the chance to speak with the family.
Finally, seats opened up for the RKYHS students and Rabbi Mintz to get close to the family and converse. First speaking to the grandparents, then to the parents of Elan, HY”D, the students echoed the messages from the letter sent from Kushner Head of School Rabbi Eliezer Rubin to the family, on behalf of the entire student body. They mentioned how much they look up to him, appreciate his service in the IDF and how the story resonates with them.
As the conversation progressed, both parties realized that they were closer than they thought; Elan, HY”D led a life many of the students would like to take; students knew many of the same people that the family knew, and so on. As the students were leaving, they wished the family that they should be comforted by Hashem and with the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim. The grandparents mentioned how important it is for the family to learn about Elan’s outside life from visitors; Elan’s family learned a lot of information about him while they were sitting shiva.
On the way back and in the days following, the students reflected on, and were very appreciative of, this trip. Ella mentioned that “it was so meaningful to commemorate a role model of our community.” Jonah felt this act of chesed was appropriate to have been done on the fast day. Meira and Michal admired the nobility in which Elan, HY”D acted, and how the family welcomed them even in this time of unimaginable devastation. The students, drawing a comparison to the story of Purim, stressed the importance of this chesed. Just like the Jews fasted with Esther in her time of distress, which led to their redemption, so too, their chesed that day would, be’ezrat Hashem, bring salvation from our vicious enemies, ultimate redemption and the messianic era.
Nathan Pedoeem is a junior at RKYHS.
