This week’s column was almost co-written by son #1. You see, mom of the year, which would be me, drove sons #1 and 2 to Providence, Rhode Island. Don’t worry about son #3, he had a midterm and needed to study. Why did we go to Providence? I am really surprised that you don’t know. The Providence Friars were playing Butler. I know, really? These are two college basketball teams. I had no idea. Even as I was driving through the great state of Connecticut, I still had no idea. I thought the boys only like football, baseball and hockey. Where did college basketball come into the mix? I was quickly reminded about the final four and some other stuff that I totally tuned out because I just started a new diet and I was so hungry that, as the boys were talking to me and they said the word friar, I thought of a deep fryer and was dreaming of onion rings. O.K., back to reality.
Son #1 was being driven crazy by the woman who gave birth to him and was doing the actual driving. This is how the conversation would go: “What does Mary say?” Mary is the Waze voice. “Mom, I told you, we have 164 miles before you need to do anything else, just relax.” Five minutes later: “What does Mary say to do now?” “Mom, I told you, we have 161 miles before you need to do anything else, just relax.” You could see how this conversation could spiral downward real fast. That is when son #1 put in his “I-just-came-back-from-Israel-and-I-listen-to-Jewish-music” playlist. Ah, like being at a wedding when you are actually driving three hours each way for a two-hour basketball game that you have to get to early just in case you can meet the players. (So, to summarize: six hours of driving for two hours of game = new piece of jewelry for Mom.)
The music kept getting louder because son #1 was hoping that I would not try to shout over Eitan Katz and his band of merry men. It worked, for a little while. We were also kept amused by son #2 who had fallen asleep 15 minutes into the ride. Which was impressive because he offered to drive home and he fell asleep before we left the parking lot. I guess it is a good thing that I didn’t let him drive.
In any event, of course I took my boys on this mini road trip, for several reasons. (1) How many times will I get to daven Mincha-Maariv at a shul in Providence which is located across the street from a lovely hospital that had a restroom, since the shul was locked because we got there an hour early and had been driving for three hours and drank two cans of Tab to keep me awake? (2) I love watching my boys bond. At 15 months apart, they are still so adorable when they are together. Though, no one asks if they are twins anymore, which disappointed both of them. And (3) I have said this before: When you only have sons, and they ask you to go out in public with them, you say yes. Ultimately you say yes just in case it is the last time they ask you to go out in public with them.
We get to the game and everyone is so excited. Apparently they are two Big East teams—who knows. I won’t try to explain any more of this to you. What I did learn was that none of these players get paid. They play because they love it. But, they play in this beautiful arena and people pay money to watch them. The schools make all of this money and I hope put it back into the students’ education and scholarships. So that got my brain turning. I think that all of the yeshivos in our area should start charging for admission to the games. And then with the money they make, help out with tuition. Brilliant, right? Wouldn’t you pay $17 to watch eighth grade basketball? And then we could charge another $15 for parking. I think it is brilliant and an easy solution for affordable tuition.
Yup, that is what I got out of my pleasant Rhode trip, get it, Rhode Island, Rhode trip? Oh, and in case you were wondering, the Friars won, I had no onion rings and had the game gone into overtime, which it almost did, I would have left my boys in Providence….there is only so much this boy mom can take.
Jack Ganchrow also enjoys writing and his work has appeared in the Daily Stache and Rising Apple, both NY Mets blogs. His mommy is very proud of him, but wishes he would eat healthier foods.
By Banji Latkin Ganchrow
