The recent passing of Rav Chaim Kanievsky, zt”l has rightfully engendered many tributes, and no doubt many more will follow praising his single-mindedness and devotion to Torah study. As I reflect on this loss I realize that there are many special individuals in our own collective orbits who are worthy of emulation. We need not wait for someone’s death to truly recognize their value. Aside from recognizing the intrinsic value of individuals in our own community, there is an educational component begging to be utilized.
Role models are very important for children. Parents are the most immediate role models for a child, followed by teachers and grandparents. This is a weighty responsibility. Teachers realize this burden. Parents and grandparents need to as well. What priorities are being communicated to our children? Which values are emphasized? Who are our children’s role models and influencers in an age when cellphones are considered essential appendages and cable TV is ubiquitous?
Contemporary moral values and standards, or lack thereof, bombard our children on a daily basis. Lifestyles (and fashions) of athletes, musicians, actors and politicians are not always what we want for our children. Financial success doesn’t always equate with morality and middot tovot. Whose photos adorn our children’s walls? Who are their role models?
We are fortunate that in our community we are truly blessed with so many positive role models for our children. Our shuls, yeshivas, day schools and chesed organizations are populated by gedolim in the truest sense of the world. Those who give of themselves, in the words of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, z”l, are gedolim of chesed. When we think of gedolim we can easily lose sight of the many special people around us. Without fanfare or fancy titles, they model Torah values which every child can emulate. Not every student can be a gadol baTorah, but they can become gedolim of chesed.
Our rabbonim all do many quiet things that no one hears about. Confidential assistance is given to many in need of finances, marital issues, counseling, day school admissions, home and hospital visits, and outreach to non-members. Rebbetzins are the true unsung heroes behind the scenes in so many ways. Their outreach flies under the radar but their impact on so many lives is incalculable. Hatzalah members, chevra kadisha members, tzedaka fund administrators, Chaverim, meals on wheels, shomrim, youth leaders and shul volunteers who work hard out of the spotlight, are our true heroes and role models. Let’s not forget the many non-rabbinic volunteers who give Daf Yomi and other shiurim. Our children need to be reminded that these are the true exemplars of Torah values and are to be emulated.
Of course, the main role model for a child is the parent. If we want our children to feel inspired when they daven, then that needs to be our priority as well. If we want our child to make time for Torah study, that too needs to be a priority. A child learns an important lesson when a parent makes time for a shiur or a chavruta.
We are fortunate to have so many who demonstrate true leadership and guidance. We need to take advantage of these role models to show our children those who are truly worth emulating. As a community we need to up our game and walk the walk, not just talk the talk.
Rabbi Dr. Greene has had a distinguished career as a Jewish educator and consultant.
