It is at this time of year that we take the time to mull over the past year and prepare ourselves to daven for a peaceful and healthy new year. We all know that as we get older our concerns about the future are not the same as they might have been years ago. When we hear a discussion on the news about the date that a new bridge, a new airport, a new highway is scheduled for completion in 20 or 25 years, we realize that there is a good chance that we might not be around to see the completion of such a project. We remember back to when the discussion took place of the rebuilding of the World Trade Center and we did not consciously consider that we might not be around to see its grandiose structure. When the discussion took place in Montreal of replacing the Champlain Bridge we sort of assumed that we would drive over it one day which we recently did. Yet despite the fact that we are getting on in age and realize that our chances of seeing some of the forthcoming new additions to our cities are not what they once were, we realize that not a day goes by that we do not hear or know of someone who suddenly passed away at a very young age. The bottom line is that none of us has any guarantee of what will be tomorrow. Our mantra of always making the very best of each day has helped us to continue to live our lives in a positive and relatively grateful daily existence.
Recently, we looked back at the article which was primarily written by Mordechai in the year 2017 on his diagnosis of vascular dementia. Two entire years have gone by since then and we are still able to laugh, smile and sometimes cry with each other. There is no question that things have become significantly more challenging. For one thing his gait is not perfect and he should be walking with a cane at all times, although as part and parcel of his disease, he sometimes forgets. In fact, if anyone finds any lost canes around you can probably be sure that they belong in our household. The gym and the kollel are prime occupiers of his time. The Bergenfield Public Library has the great pleasure of his company at least twice a week in which he borrows at least eight books. One thing that never leaves his face is his smile, and his sensitivity to his situation and its effect on our life—and our future life—together. It is never far from his mind. We both know that the ride of marriage is, as it has been in our life, similar to a bicycle built for two.
Early on in our marriage, while at YU, on a rare daring day Mordechai purchased a Lambretta (a motor scooter) from a Columbia College student that he had befriended. He brought it home totally excited, but his wife’s enthusiasm for driving through the streets of Manhattan with big city buses pulling up about one inch from the back passenger’s (guess who that was) body did not share the same elation. Nevertheless, that was the closest we came to any type of transport (a bicycle built for two) in the first years of our marriage. Of course, we never told our parents, who would have killed us. In a sense we are still meandering the streets of life with a two-on-one mode of transport. It is our hope that we will never have to stop doing that.
Whatever happens, we know that our seesaw of life will continue to send us on highs and lows. When we are up we will relish the moment and when we fall down we will work on pushing ourselves up as quickly as we can. Yes, as the days approach Rosh Hashanah we find many thoughts flooding our minds. Most important is to accept the decisions of Hakodesh Baruch Hu as what is best for us, whether or not we are meant to understand. Would it be better if we each had our own private glass ball that we could look into to see what lies in our futures? Absolutely not. We are just concentrating on the here and now. We will daven; We will put our faith in Hashem and live each day as an unknown entity, which it is.
We will close by wishing everyone a meaningful and healthy new year and by repeating the words that Mordechai wrote two years ago in our Rosh Hashanah article: “I wish all of you for the coming year just an ounce of the wondrousness of the relationship that we have had in our marriage. Shana tova u’metuka to all.”
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
