Same old, same old. Crossing the street at the corner of New Bridge Road and Westminster on Shabbat a few weeks ago, we were reminded by a fellow daredevil also attempting to get to the other side of the street that the newly “improved” crossing must have been designed by “Chelmers.” Suddenly, lightning struck. That must be it. The highbrows running the county of Bergen roads must be descendants of the original inhabitants of Chelm. In case anyone is wondering, the town of Chelm, not far from Lublin, has approximately 64,000 inhabitants. Anyone planning a trip to visit can stay at the five-star hotel for $54 per night. Be careful where you cross the street, though, because their corners are in the middle of people’s homes.
Canadians have their own set of Chelmers. They are called Newfies, which actually is derived from people originating from the province of Newfoundland. However, after researching this article we have realized that the term is considered quite derogatory—much worse than we knew. Many countries have their own ways to describe what most would call “nerds” or fools, but we have decided that we will concentrate in this article, once again, on the wise men of Chelm who have made life so stressful for those of us crossing the street.
On Pesach, just a few weeks ago, the Chelm police force was out ensuring that the crosswalk would be safe at night. The only difficulty was that the Chief of Clowns never told the poor policeman that the crosswalk had been changed to a different part of New Bridge. There he stood, whoops, sorry, there he sat in his police car, waiting to cross everyone. When approached by us to remind him that his car was parked in the wrong place, he replied that he knew. Oh, so then why, may we ask, are you sitting in your car at the totally wrong crossing? He responded that he was waiting for another car. Oh, we thought, for what? Guess it’s a Chelm mentality.
All kidding aside, people having to walk on New Bridge with no sidewalks and no lights are taking their lives into their hands each day. As adults have no idea of where to go it is quite reasonable to wonder how any child can be allowed to cross at that corner by themselves. Every time we hear a siren on New Bridge we are sure that they are headed for the next tragedy at the corner of New Bridge and Westminster. Perhaps some of us Chelmers should get up in the middle of the night and repaint the original crosswalk, which we now feel was better than the situation today.
Not far from Chelm in Lublin there are now lit and fluorescent signs to help both pedestrians and drivers be more aware of the potential for a tragic accident. If only we could get our own head of Chelm to drive to Englewood, Teaneck and other nearby cities to see what could be done, quite effortlessly, if there were a will.
Yes it is true that this subject has been dealt with before but nothing ever seems to get done. Perhaps if we are slightly more pushy and if we as a community got up to do something actively, the wise men of Chelm (Bergen) would realize that this is not a joke but a catastrophe waiting to happen.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
