Oh no! Another year and COVID isn’t over yet? OMG, how are we going to survive and make the Seder fun with COVID still here this year? In the past, we all worried about how we were going to tell the same story again. Now we only wish we could tell the same story again but with our extended family and friends. But we’re stuck, we have no choice. So… how are we going to make the Seder enjoyable this year?
Even with the same story as last year, even with COVID hanging over our heads, there really is no reason why the Seder can’t be both fun and engaging for all. With just a little planning and effort, hopefully the excitement will be infectious, not COVID! Here are some Seder-tested ideas that will take your seder from dry and ordinary to exciting and engaging. Word on the street has been a resounding thumbs up. From Shaare Tefillah, in Teaneck, “We used to dread the Seders, now we look forward to them. You’ve saved Passover for us! Thanks!” And another from Chabad of Woodcliff Lake, “Using a few of your ideas…resulted in [the kids] saying it was the best Seder ever and they cannot imagine how I am going to top that.”
With travel still restricted and the vaccine in short supply, many of us will be forced for a second year to celebrate the chag without extended family. But let’s turn this to our advantage. After a year of telecommuting from home and our kids Zoom-schooling, we have all become quite adept at videoconferencing. In the past we could get together only with those family members who could physically make it to our home, but now we have a golden opportunity to have a Seder with family around the world. OK, so it won’t be the official Seder, but what if we planned an abridged Zoom Seder during the week before the chag? Planned at the right time, relatives and friends from across the globe—just picture London, Israel, Toronto, South Africa, Australia and more—could all join with us in New Jersey and draw the family even closer.
Our goals for activities at the Seder have always been several. My wife and I strive to engage our children and keep the Seder moving (both temporally and physically). We work to get our kids invested in the effort so that they will “own” some of the activities. Anything they helped create will resonate all that much more with them. We also try to surreptitiously maintain their sugar levels during what is always a late night. Depending on the age and personality of your children, be prepared to cut the intellectual discussions short (there, I said it). Sure, it would be wonderful to have the neighbors knock on the door in the morning announcing that it’s time to recite Shema (socially distanced, of course!), but many young children (and I would venture to guess many of us adults also) really cannot sit through long discussions. They’re tired, they’re hungry, they want excitement, and as we all know, they want food. So be prepared to cut out the long discussions and just fly through the sections that are above them and focus on the sections that will excite them. There will come a time soon enough when the children are older and you will be the one who wants to end early. But for now, keep it fluid, keep it exciting, keep it entertaining.
Our number-one idea of them all has been Pesach Points, colorful “currency” that we pass out with each question, answer or song (or for no good reason whatsoever). They are redeemed at the end of the Seder for a prize. They’re fun, they’re colorful and they create a little friendly competition. Only after our youngest turned 10 did the interest in Pesach Points finally wane in our house. Erev Yom Tov, print out the points and let your kids cut them out. Not only will you have purchased 20 minutes of quiet, you’ll whet your children’s appetites for what’s to come.
Planning games and activities around and during the Seders is essential, and singing is a must. Sing whatever parts of the Haggadah you can. We all remember the songs we sang at our own childhood Seders (who doesn’t remember Dayenu?) and our own children are no different. Designed by my oldest daughter, our family has played its own version of “Passover Bingo,” where marshmallows and jelly rings (or carrot slices for a healthier alternative) are used as markers when a certain section in the Haggadah is reached or an activity is performed. Not only does this keep the kids looking ahead in the Haggadah for the next box to cover but it provides them with a ready supply of snacks along the way.
Over the years, we’ve had an alternative kids’ karpas with sliced bananas (ala Rav Teitz in Elizabeth) dipped into chocolate sauce. That alone created lots of questions (can we really do this?? is the bracha the same?) and we left the extra banana slices on the table to be quietly taken for snacks during Maggid. Last year, while I was sick in bed with COVID, my kids fried up French fries and we dipped them in ketchup (hey, it’s got both salt and vinegar!). Thank you, Howie and Michah Kaufman from Teaneck, for that one! Chaim Katina of Monroe told me that he and his wife adopted six children with special needs, and to create excitement for their kids, they stop the Seder at karpas and fry up latkes to dip. Boy, I know what we’ll be doing this year!
No one can possibly remain seated the whole Seder. But when it comes to action Seders, some communities really know what to do. I am told those of Yemenite ancestry step over a pot of water—in lieu of crossing the Red Sea. Why not take this one step further? Several years ago, I “found” Moshe’s staff on Har Nevo (a.k.a the pitcher’s mound in Phelps Park here in Teaneck). So now, right after we read the 10 plagues, we all stand up and walk through the house, led by a youthful “Moshe” holding his or her staff. We cross the Yam Suf (really a doorway covered with a blue plastic tablecloth) all the while singing Az Yashir. In our house, just when the kids are getting antsy… Let’s Go! Time to cross the Red Sea! With the idea of trying to keep it fresh, our personal Yetziat Mitzrayim seems to expand a little each year. One year we had backpacks prepared for the kids with clothes, water bottles, sunhats, sunglasses and some matzah (to put on their shoulders). The next year I snuck away during Maggid, changed into a Pharaoh costume (go Amazon!!) and chased the children through the sea. Another year, our children took two blue plastic tablecloths from Amazing Savings and hung them on our hallway walls and taped pictures of fish, chariots and horses to them and we walked between “walls of water”—“miminam umismolam.” And yet another year, after passing through the Yam Suf, the children arrived at an inflatable swimming pool and palm tree. What a great teaching moment. With a little prompting, the kids learned where Bnei Yisrael landed after Kriat Yam Suf and what happened at Marah.
While props for the 10 plagues have become commonplace and a great addition for the younger age group, they may not excite the teens and young adults. But there is still much that can be done for them. We’ve created Pesach brain teasers and word puzzles for them to solve when they need a break from the festivities. Pesach Math has been a popular one (e.g., 12 = The T___ of I___). We’ve created “Seder Selfies” where different objects from the Seder “took selfies” of themselves at odd angles and the kids had to figure out what they were. Do you have high schoolers taking biology or chemistry? You can make an afikoman hunt based on tRNA codons and another one based on the periodic table. This year my son and I have 3D printed a new Kos Eliyahu—one where the wine actually drops as Eliyahu drinks (watch the Zoom workshop to see this in action!).
With just a little planning, even in the midst of COVID, the Seder can become a highlight of the year and will create memories you and your children will never forget! These are just a couple ideas but they are merely the tip of the iceberg. So much can be done; the limits are only your imagination.
“And when your child shall ask what is this service,”
“וְהִגַּדְתָּ לְבִנְךָ בַּיוֹם הַהוּא… “
“And you shall tell your child on that day…”
If we can foster excitement in our children, we will pass the message on to them. This is not just laudatory, rather, this is the real mitzvah of the Seder!
Although the workshop has already taken place, it can be viewed online at: https://www.jfnnj.org/recordedevents.
By Zalman Suldan
