A challenge I have as a parent is when my children do something wrong and I need to punish them, so they won’t do it again. I try to make them realize that I’m acting out of love, so they will act better in the future. Still, I feel bad the next day, wondering if I was too harsh. As strange as it sounds, parents feel deep affection for their children after having needed to punish them.

This month is called “Av.” We often refer to it as “Menachem Av—the comfort of Av.” And this Shabbos is “Shabbos Nachamu (Shabbos of comfort),” as the haftarah opens with Hashem comforting klal Yisrael following the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash on the ninth day of Av. Yet, can any comfort be offered for the Batei Mikdash having been destroyed?

The month of Av also contains the mysterious Yom Tov of Tu B’Av, which occurs this coming week. Hashem caused a portion of klal Yisrael to perish each Tisha B’Av, during their 40 years wandering in the desert prior to entering Eretz Yisrael, and Tu B’Av marks the end of that decree. The mishna says that Tu B’Av and Yom Kippur are the greatest holidays for klal Yisrael!

To help unravel the mystery of what makes Tu B’Av so special, the Apter Rav quotes his rebbe the Maggid of Mezeritch, who says that Tu B’Av—the 15th day of the month, corresponds to the 15th letter of the aleph beis—the letter samech. What is the significance of the letter samech to Tu B’Av? The mishna says that on that day, each year, the single girls of klal Yisrael would go out to the fields wearing white dresses and dancing in a circle, while the boys would come to select their future brides!

The Gemara continues and says that in the future, Hashem will make a circle of tzaddikim and Hashem will be in the center. All the people will point to Hashem and say, “This is our Hashem; we have been waiting for Him to save us!” These are two events which focus on a circle. The letter samech is the only letter in the shape of a circle. A circle represents a “circuit.” Now, let’s explain the circuit.

The last Yom Tov of the Jewish calendar before Rosh Hashanah is officially Shavuos. But that’s not correct. Really, the last Yom Tov before the end of the year is Tu B’Av. Now, we understand the significance of the letter samech to the day of Tu B’Av, as it signifies the end of the circuit of Yomim Tovim in the Jewish calendar.

This Shabbos is “Shabbos Nachamu,” commemorating Hashem giving comfort to klal Yisrael. The concept of giving comfort is used when one is “menachem an avel—comforting a mourner.” But we also find the same root word used in an entirely different meaning: regret. When the generation before the great flood sinned greatly, the Torah says, “Vayinachem Hashem—Hashem regretted creating man.” How could the same word “nachem” have two different meanings—“comfort and regret?”

Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch explains that the root word “nachem” means to “change direction.” Let’s say one is traveling in one direction and then changes direction. Comfort and regret both apply to situations when people change their perspectives. When “nechama” is used in the context of “giving comfort,” the manner of giving comfort to an individual should be intended to give him the ability to look at an unpleasant situation with a different perspective.

After Tisha B’Av, we have Shabbos Nachamu, when Hashem has a greater affection for us after He punished us. He wants us to feel He still loves us … like a father. Therefore, the month is called “Av,” which means “father.”

According to the Chiddushei HaRim, on Tu B’Av, it’s like we’re getting up from shiva and Hashem embraces us even more. Tu B’Av is an especially notable holiday, because it celebrates Hashem reconnecting Himself to klal Yisrael with love. The year is not ending on a sad note; we are coming full circle—starting with Rosh Hashanah and leading to Tu B’Av—both Yomim Tovim representing a close connection with Hashem.

May Hashem give a true nechama to klal Yisrael regarding the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash—which occurred in the month of Av—by rebuilding the Beis Hamikdash for us soon, in our days.

Rabbi Baruch Bodenheim is the associate rosh yeshiva of Passaic Torah Institute (PTI)/Yeshiva Ner Boruch. Rabbi Bodenheim can be reached at [email protected]. For more info about PTI and its Torah classes, visit www.pti.shulcloud.com