Closing off the 3rd Annual Bergen County Community Education Conference with a vital message for parents and mechanchim was Mrs. Shani Taragin. A highly regarded Torah scholar and lecturer in Israel at institutions including Midreshet Lindenbaum, Matan, Shaalvim for Women and Migdal Oz, she is well-known in the Bergen community for her role as the director of the Women’s Beit Midrash at Camp Moshava.
In her presentation entitled “Chazal on Chinuch: The Road Not Taken,” Taragin conveyed in her own distinctive, flowing style how life presents us with crucial choices and that the decision-making process is one of the most difficult we will be faced with. Choices will inform who we are and how we live our lives. How are we to choose the direction that will result in the best outcomes for us, our children and our students?
To help us answer this question, Taragin cited the story of Rabbi Alpha and Rabbi Yochanan as recorded in Masechet Taanit (21:1) Both amoraim were suffering from dire poverty. At one point in their lives they decided to leave the beit midrash and try to earn a living through conducting business. As they were planning their move out of the beit midrash, two angels overheard their plans and were so irate at the thought of these talmidei chachamim leaving their lives of learning that they threatened to topple the walls of the beit midrash on their heads and kill them. Rabbi Yochanan had ruach hakodesh and was able to discern the warnings of these angels. His decision was to remain within the world of learning, and eventually he became the rosh yeshiva. Rabbi Alpha left for a life of business and became a very wealthy businessman. But when Rabbi Yochanan was appointed rosh yeshiva, there were those who taunted Rabbi Alpha about his decision to leave the beit midrash as he ruined his chances for ever becoming a rosh yeshiva like his colleague. To this Rabbi Alpha replied, “Hang me to the mast of a ship and ask me all kinds of questions regarding mishnayot. If I cannot answer these questions, I will throw myself overboard. Do you not believe that even while I was engaged in business, I did not learn Torah?”
Taragin utilized this story to teach us a crucial lesson. We should not judge our life choices by their eventual results. Rather, we should make our choices based upon what is best for us as long as it is consistent with “ratzon Hashem,” what Hashem would want us to take into account as we make our decisions. As parents and teachers, our role is not to control our children’s and students’ life decisions but to supply them with the proper tools so that when they do decide on lifelong paths, it will be a balance of their own will and what Hashem wills for them.
Her message to the community, “Our primary role as educators is to listen carefully. We cannot control but we can provide the tools with which our children and students will trust themselves to make appropriate life choices. We must strive to foster independence. Hopefully the choices made will comply with ratzon Hashem.”
By Pearl Markovitz
