(Courtesy of SMGH) “This past Shabbat, the conversation at kiddush in shul was our usual topic—our mental health issues,” said George Matyjewicz, PhD, community liaison at St. Mary’s General Hospital. “Moshe told how he broke up the kitchen in his house when his wife snapped at him; Gershon said he copes with all this stress very easily—a half-gallon of rum every day; Abe said drugs are quicker; Dovid said he’s going to try drugs so that those people will stop saying those things; Yossi thought they were all nuts, as he finished off his ninth pastry.”

If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Popular topics include sports, the weather, the stock market, local school issues, politics and maybe the rabbi’s shiur. But never mental illness. We often choose not to recite the mi shebeirach for people dealing with issues of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, eating disorders, schizophrenia and other mental health issues. Sorry to break the news, but mental illness and substance abuse do exist in our frum communities.

Mental illness is known in Hebrew as machalat hanefesh, illness of the soul. Just as we suffer illness of the body (machalat haguf), so too we can suffer with illness of the soul. And in today’s pandemic world, machalat hanefesh affects us much more than machalat haguf and is more serious in many cases—more suicides due to mental issues than physical issues.

St. Mary’s General Hospital will be hosting a webinar on June 3 from 12:30-1:30 p.m. entitled “Coping: Through and Beyond the Pandemic.” Attendees may join anonymously if it is easier, and there will be a questions and answer session.

“We have a preliminary agenda,” said Kathleen Fisher, LSW, LPC, ACS, executive director, behavioral health services. “I will be working with the team to gather pertinent information for the community and to finalize the presentation over the next few weeks. We know this is a sensitive topic, and we want to assure the community that we have their concerns in mind.”

In addition to Fisher, the team consists of Naftoli Walfish, LCSW, program coordinator of BH Outpatient Services and a member of the frum community; Sarabjit Singh, MD, corporate medical director, psychiatry; Rebecca Dauerman, APN, CEO, behavioral health services, Prime Healthcare NJ; George Matyjewicz, PhD, community liaison and Passaic-Clifton kehila coordinator, and others. And the team welcomes input from readers and community members.

Physical issues seem to be easier to diagnose—patients have pain and they discuss it with their doctors, who prescribe cures. Pain lets us know that we have a problem. Our hearts racing alerts us to potential cardiovascular problems; the pain from trying to pick up that pot on the stove tells us to use a pot holder; pain in the lower back tells us that we may need surgery if medications aren’t working.

But what about the emotional pain we experience? If we are worried, scared, stressed or anxious—mental pain indicates there is reason for concern, but is harder to diagnose until it may be too late. Sadly there have been suicides in the frum communities, and there are addiction issues. Patients are suffering internally, afraid to discuss their pain openly as it may ruin his/her or family member’s shidduch potential.

Unfortunately, it is also empirically known that the stigma and shame that surrounds mental illness in our community precludes many individuals from seeking treatment. This results in the patient—and their family—suffering in silence and very often turning to alcohol or drugs. And if you are suffering from addiction, you will not know how it affects your family until you quit—as one man said when his youngest daughter sent him a thank you note every year for the past 20 years, on the anniversary of his being sober.

The good news is that while the issue of behavioral health and mental illness is still in the background in much of the Jewish community, there are reasons for hope as the topic comes to the forefront in conferences, community forums and rabbinic training programs. As the Jewish community continues to tackle this complex issue, lives will be enhanced and hopefully even saved. And St. Mary’s General and the Prime Healthcare Behavioral Health Services will be there for the community through the entire process.

St. Mary’s General Hospital—nationally recognized, locally preferred—among the top hospitals in America for health, quality, and patient safety. A center of excellence for maternal-child, the hospital has over 550 physicians and 1,200 employees, with every staff member committed to providing respectful, personalized, high-quality care – to satisfy patients’ needs and exceed their expectations. St. Mary’s General is a proud member of Prime Healthcare, which has had more Patient Safety Excellence Award recipients for five consecutive years (2016-2020) than any other health system in the country including a “Top 15 Healthcare System” by Truven Health Analytics. To learn more about St. Mary’s General Hospital, visit https://www.smh-nj.com/ or Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/StMarysGeneral.

For more information or to provide input for the webinar, please contact George Matyjewicz, PhD, community liaison, at [email protected]