A couple of weeks ago, I was watching a medical segment on one of the morning news shows. The lovely female doctor (though her gender really isn’t relevant) was speaking about flu season. She was saying how it is in full swing, make sure you got the vaccine, blah, blah. Apparently, the flu has hit more young adults than it has young children or the elderly. When she said “young adults,” for a second I thought she was referring to me, but then I realized she was referring to the adolescent set, and though I still think (or act) like I am an adolescent, I became aware that she was saying it was affecting my kids’ age and not my age. Only one of my kids got the flu shot, the others told me I was annoying and that they didn’t need it.
That being said, the doctor went on to report that even if you don’t have the flu, you should be careful around large crowds or Super Bowl parties. So I was thinking that if you don’t feel well, you just don’t go to the party, problem solved. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks this way. I was on my way out from a soiree that I visited—love the hostфs, colored with the kids and then got out of there before a panic attack set in (since my vertigo, I don’t do well with large crowds), and as I was leaving I noticed a lovely young family pushing three strollers filled with kids coughing like they had just come from a pneumonia clinic. You know the cough I am speaking of. The one that usually requires a call to the pediatrician at 3 am about croup. Your child starts to sound like a seal and that whole “in and out of the hot steamy shower” thing just doesn’t work. Ahh, I have fond memories of driving son #3 to the ER for some sort of breathing treatment. Yup, good times.
Anyway, so I am watching the crouping family enter the party, I want to run into the house screaming, “Save yourselves!! This is how everyone gets sick!!!” It’s like those moms who bring their sick, runny nose “only don’t have fever at that moment because the Advil is kicking in” kids to Lazy Bean as a “treat” for them, when the “treat” for the rest of us is that kid’s cold. Thanks. Too sick for school, too sick for Lazy Bean. I am just saying…keep them home!
So perhaps the morning news doctor was right. Maybe Super Bowl parties are the optimal time to get the flu. After all, parents want to leave the house, but they can’t leave without their kids, so they bring them. And patient zero might just be sitting at your kitchen table sticking her sticky hands into the bowl of popcorn. Yummy, sounds appetizing! Am I guilty of doing the same thing? No. Because even though my kids think everything I do is wrong and I am the most annoying mother in the world, I do not want to be responsible for anyone getting sick. Because I am so thoughtful and considerate.
But I always wonder about those moms who insist on bringing little Shmueli and Basya Feigy out to a public place when they are clearly under the weather. Not good for them and not good for klal Yisrael. Look at that, it took some time, but I have finally worked klal Yisrael into one of my columns. Baruch Hashem.
As for this year’s Super Bowl, because son #3 was so emotionally invested, I have been thrown out of my house. Little does he know that I have been upstairs writing…of course, now that we all know that his beloved Panthers lost, perhaps it really was my fault! The only touchdown they scored was when I was home, so I am not entirely to blame. As for our friend Cam Newton, the Panthers quarterback, many people are saying that he was a sore loser for storming out of the postgame news conference. When he finally did reply to those comments he said, “Show me someone who isn’t a sore loser after a game like this and I will show you someone who is a real loser.” You tell ‘em, Cam. It hurts to lose a big game after an amazing season. Football players are human too. Take some time to heal…there is always next season.
As for your sick kids, heed those same words—TAKE SOME TIME TO HEAL!!
By Banji Latkin Ganchrow
Banji Ganchrow was very disappointed in the Super Bowl commercials and is hoping to get a job in advertising so she can make them better. You know anyone?
