One of the most exhilarating and joyful experiences for many children in yeshiva elementary school is tefillah — and at the same time, it can be one of the most challenging experiences for morim and morot to develop and nurture. By the time students get to high school, and in the years beyond, many report that their tefillah experience is extremely challenging and in need of greater meaning. As parents and as teachers, it is important to ask how and why this transition occurred and what we can do to make the entire experience meaningful in a lasting way.
I do not think that there is a “magic bullet” that can, in one fell swoop, ensure that our children’s tefillah is exactly where we think it ought to be. Rather, this is an issue that needs care, attention and direction on numerous fronts. In this article, I would like to address one of those fronts — perhaps one of the most foundational, yet neglected areas of tefillah.
In his Hilchot Tefillah, chapter 4, the Rambam delineates the five elements that are crucial for tefillah, such that if any one of them is absent, the person’s tefillah is not valid. As we would expect, one of those five elements is kavanat halev — literally, direction of the heart. The Rambam elaborates on what kavanah entails, in halachah 16: “How is kavanah done? One must turn his or her heart from all other thoughts, and see him or herself as if standing before the Divine Presence. Therefore, one must sit a little while before tefillah in order to direct his or her heart, and then, afterwards, pray at ease and with supplication.” Notice that the Rambam does not begin his very definition of kavanah by instructing us what we need to think about — rather, he begins by instructing us what not to think about — turning our thoughts away from anything other than the focal point at hand.
This idea, that the foundation of tefillah is to remove all extraneous thoughts from our minds and hearts — without which our words do not reach the definition of tefillah — is very reminiscent of a current school of thought in education and in life called “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is defined (mindful.org) as the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not (be) overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. While mindfulness is something we all naturally possess, it’s more readily available to us when we practice on a daily basis.”
Now, let us return to the experience of tefillah of our youngsters. For many, the essence of the experience involves joyful singing, a feeling of “community” as the children join with others in their tefillah, and, hopefully, a basic understanding of the words and concepts of the tefillot. This experience engages many a student throughout his or her younger years. And then … as the student matures a bit, and more sophisticated thought is appropriate in the tefillah experience, there tends to be a bit of a “slide” in the student’s engagement. With so many distractions in life, that sophisticated thought may never find a firm footing in the student’s tefillah experience. And the singing may not be enough to hold the student’s attention any more. If, however, one is accustomed to a mindful experience, the thought and meaning of tefillah may have a greater chance to take hold —to find a firm rooting — and thereby, blossom.
If there is any validity to this approach — and I fully concede that this requires discussion, analysis, and an airing of different perspectives and experiences; I am just “thinking out loud” here — then, perhaps, we ought to think about using mindfulness in the very early grades as part of the students’ educational program, along with a specific application of this mindfulness training for tefillah — all being done in an age-appropriate way, of course. In doing this, we may help to make our students’ tefillah experience more meaningful.
Rabbi Saul Zucker is head of school at Ben Porat Yosef.
