While taking classes to become a teacher, we learned of something called “the marshmallow test.” If you take a marshmallow and put it in front of children and tell them that their reward for not eating it will be getting a second marshmallow, some will not eat it. Why is that? Those who do not eat it are thinking of something other than the marshmallow to hold themselves back from their desire and temptation.
In Parshat Vayeshev, Yosef has a test, but instead of a marshmallow, he has Eshet (the wife of) Potifar, his boss, wanting to seduce him daily. Despite trying, and despite a desire that Yosef had, he tells her, “How can I do this to my master, and how can I do this to God?”
Many times the pesukim made it seem that Yosef easily overcame this desire, but Rashi explains that there was one day, the day of the holiday of the Egyptians, that Yosef was ready to give into temptation. Rashi expresses that he went to work that day to work with Eshet Potiphar and not his real job. However, Rashi continues to say that Yosef had an image of his father in his head, and that is what prevented him from committing a terrible act of desire.
Besides Yaakov, Yosef’s father, there is also Hashem. I want to say that while Yaakov could have been the image that Yosef saw to avoid his temptation, it was the fact that Yaakov embodied love and fear in Hashem that caused Yosef to recognize that this action of desire needed to be stopped. Each one of us has desires, some are bigger and some smaller, but no matter what the desire is, Yosef teaches us the key to overcoming it. When we have a love for Hashem, and He is on our minds because we love him, then we can also fear him. It is when we have this fear of disappointing Him or/and this awe of recognizing how great He is that helps us overcome whatever desire we have. May we, like Yosef, always see Hashem in our lives, and may He help us push away the bad desires and run toward the good desires like learning Torah.
Shira Sedek is a passionate educator at Ramaz Middle School in New York City who loves teaching Torah and inspiring her students.
