After years of dreaming, planning and fundraising, The Bayit Association, in collaboration with Ohel, opened their first residential home for young men with developmental disabilities on Sunday, December 15. Four have moved in and there is potential for a fifth to join them. Moshe Kinderlehrer, one of the founders of The Bayit Association and co-publisher of The Jewish Link, said that Sunday was a big day for the Association and his family. He founded The Bayit Association with Bassie Taubes, Adam Chill and other families from Teaneck about six years ago, and has been working tirelessly to raise the money for the purchase and renovation of this home and more in the planning stages. The excitement is also personal. His son Zev is one of the residents of the home at 263 Grayson Place in Teaneck. The other residents are Sam Chill, Elie Kahan and Jacob Adler, all Teaneck natives.
The Bayit Association bought and completely renovated the home to make it functional, attractive and inviting for the residents. It has been a long process to meet all the New Jersey requirements and pass inspections. But the result is a beautiful home that the families can be proud of.
The house is licensed and run by Ohel, a veteran operator of over 100 group homes and apartments in New York for people with disabilities. This is Ohel’s debut in New Jersey, and the realization of its goal to expand here. David Mandel, CEO of Ohel, said interest began over two decades ago when he met people from northern New Jersey who had children with disabilities living in homes in New York, and they talked about creating opportunities in New Jersey for them. “We had many meetings with community leaders, elected officials and got a lot of support from activists and donors,” he recalled. “Sometimes it just takes a lot of perseverance, patience and commitment. And here we are. We’re very happy to be working, collaborating and partnering with The Bayit—Moshe, Adam, Bassie and many other people involved in this.”
It was a process for Ohel to become licensed in New Jersey, and then to choose and train staff for the Grayson Place home. Adam Lancer, chief operating officer at Ohel, said they applied to the New Jersey Division of Developmental Disabilities four years ago, and it took several years to satisfy all the regulatory, safety and clinical requirements to get licensed. Ohel began nonresidential services in New Jersey about a year-and-a-half ago, including skill training for vocational work and help finding employment. Ohel also provides recreation and socialization opportunities. Ohel is now serving clients from Teaneck to Lakewood, and many communities in between, including Passaic, Elizabeth and Highland Park.
Staff recruitment and training takes a lot of time. “It takes a lot to get them up and running with training, fingerprints and background checks, in light of the seriousness of their role,” said Lancer. Employees have to undertake training in several areas that impact client safety and well-being. “We’re identifying clients and hiring dedicated staff regularly,” he explained. “We’re very happy and I feel very fortunate to serve our clients with 24/7 care, medical and clinical oversight, and day-to-day food, clothing and shelter, all while fostering their skills and personal goals. We’re looking to expand housing into other communities including Passaic and Lakewood.” In Teaneck, an existing home is now being renovated for multiple residents in the spring. Another house on Sussex Street is almost ready for construction, thanks to a recent fundraising campaign.
Ohel began recruiting dedicated staff for Grayson Place several months ago, followed by training and orientation. The government does not give approval to open until all staff is in place, and the residence passes a vigorous pre-audit inspection. Lancer said one of the key requirements for the residential home was that it had to be a kosher and culturally sensitive environment. All the Shabbat staff are young men from Yeshiva University, Lander College and Sh’or Yoshuv (in Lawrence).
Moving is both exciting and challenging under the best circumstances. Ohel worked with the young men and their families in advance of moving to Grayson Place to help with the transition. “We’ve worked with many of the clients for months now, providing day-to-day services for them, and holding individual and group meetings, so we were able to know them and their families,” said Lancer. “The guys have been living in the Grayson Place house for a little over a week and everything is going well, with the normal and anticipated adjustments that change engenders.”
The Kinderlehrers tried to prepare Zev for the move by showing him the house and speaking about it many times. They personalized his room to make it nice for him. “He was very excited that day,” said Dena Kinderlehrer, his mother. “He kept saying, ‘I’m moving,’ like he knew he was going there; he knew he was sleeping there.”
Now that the move has taken place, it’s still a big adjustment for both Zev and his parents. “It’s very emotional; it’s very hard,” said Moshe Kinderlehrer. “No one is going to take care of him the way we take care of him. It’s hard to understand him and what he likes. He doesn’t express himself. We know because we’ve been taking care of him for so long. It’s hard to know that this is where he’s going to be for the rest of his life. And we are kind of relinquishing our control as his parents. It’s hard to think that other people are now in charge of him. I think it’s going to take a long time for us and for Zev to get used to this new life.” Unlike most other communities, the residents are all from Teaneck and their families live within walking distance, so there will still be plenty of interaction. Zev’s daily life will stay the same as he continues to go to the day programs he has been attending. But now the Ohel staff will take him and bring him back.
Those who don’t know what it is like to have a child who will never be independent, may not understand why it is important for these young adults to move out of their parents’ home. The most basic reason is the simple fact that parents age and at some point, they won’t be able to take care of their child. And while it’s tempting for a parent to think they will cross that bridge when they come to it, that day could happen when there are no good options. “Just because you want something, doesn’t mean it’s available to you at that moment,” said Mandel. “Housing is the single most complex service.” Ohel has to have a place available and meet with potential residents to know if their needs are an appropriate fit. There is a laborious and detailed process to work with the right government agencies for funding. “You shouldn’t wait for an emergency,” he cautioned. The Bayit has been acting as an informal resource to educate parents about how to get funding and services for their child with developmental disabilities so they will be able to access the right option when there’s an opportunity.
Elie Skoczylas, Ohel’s director of New Jersey services, is establishing a strong presence for Ohel in the area. He works in collaboration with the resident manager, Jack Turell, who is responsible for overseeing the day-to-day operation of the home and leads a team of clinical staff and direct support professionals.
To make the house not only beautiful but personal for the residents, Skoczylas and his team gave the residents choices in the décor. “All of the individuals chose their own room color. We gave choices of furniture to create a home atmosphere so they can say, ‘This is my home; this is where I live.’ We have one individual who is an avid Yankees fan and he wanted to choose blue and white in his room, so we did an accent wall that was dark blue and the rest white. We really wanted to create an atmosphere of a home, and it came together very nicely.”
Since Skoczylas lives in the area, he stopped by the home just before the first Shabbat. “It was surreal to see the guys getting ready for Shabbat and how proud they were that they were in their own home. It was a really nice feeling,” he said.
He is grateful for the community’s support for the young men. “I heard that on that first Shabbat they were welcomed in the shul they attended. Everyone really feels like a member of society. Community integration is really our goal. I’m ecstatic that there’s something available where everyone can live here safely and comfortably. It’s a wonderful thing and the community should be very proud of that.”
Taubes, one of the founders of The Bayit, has a son she hopes will be accepted to a residence in the future. She has been involved in all aspects of getting the Grayson Street home up and running and is thrilled that it is finally a reality. “I went to see the house before they moved in, and it was really emotional seeing that this beautiful home—created from a desire, a need, hard work and community fundraising—really happened.” The home has already given the residents and their friends a true taste of belonging. Taubes shared how they helped to celebrate her son’s birthday. “All the guys from the house met him at a bowling alley, with some other adults with a developmental disability. After they went bowling, they went back to Grayson. They went back to their home to entertain, like anybody else would do. What is mundane for everybody else was absolutely remarkable here. It’s very special.”
