Yael and Naftoli Walfish of Passaic, both licensed social workers, have been working for over 20 years with families and children in transforming behaviors from negative and destructive to successful and positive. Their practice, the Center for Greatness, functions from their Passaic office and services individuals, schools and districts in New Jersey. Eight years ago, they were introduced to the Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA), a social-emotional parenting approach developed by Howard Glasser that builds a child’s self-confidence and fosters positive behavior. Trained in this technique, the Walfishs have been successfully training and supporting parents, teachers and entire school districts since 2015. Their six-week online course has been hailed for achieving positive results.
Coming from a mental health approach that seeks to diffuse aggressive behaviors in children caused by trauma and anxiety, Yael Walfish was struck with the realization that in the aftermath of the horrific events in Israel on October 7, witnessed by hundreds of young children, there would be a great need for approaches to help them deal with their nightmares and constant fears. As a writer of two previous children’s books, “Menucha for Menucha” dealing with children carrying around “storm clouds”; and an upcoming book, “Lazer Becomes a Winner,” helping children learn to respond to bullying and stop the cycle of escalation, Walfish was determined to create a therapeutic outlet for children in Israel. She realized the great mental health needs of these hundreds of Israeli children, separated from their fathers who left for military service, relocated to temporary residences without proper clothing and belongings, living each day with uncertainty and fear. So she set out on a project.
Calling upon her love of writing for children, Walfish wrote a text about Benny, a 7-year-old Israeli boy who likes to play ball, build Lego and play with friends and with his younger brother and baby sister. As the story proceeds, Benny’s father is called up to the IDF. Benny is frightened by the loud sirens that seem to go off frequently. The trips to the mamad, safe room, are not always comfortable. Mommy looks nervous and sad. Benny finds it hard to sleep at night, as does Mommy.
In an attempt to assuage Benny’s fears, Mommy comes up with the idea of “The Elephant in My Room.” She explains to Benny: ”Sometimes, when we keep our feelings inside; it’s like there’s something big like an elephant in the room. But when we talk about the elephant, the VERY BIG feeling gets smaller. And we have room to breathe.Then we can take deep breaths, Write in our journals. Call a friend. Play a game. Take a walk. Or do something to help someone.”
Her advice to the hundreds of traumatized Bennys suffering through this devastating war:
- “Just keep talking about the elephant
- And then he’ll shrink into his corner,
- And you’ll be able to breathe again
- And talk to Hashem.
- Because Hashem loves us
- And He has a plan.”
Determined to get her book as soon as possible into the hands of those children who could be helped by it, Walfish put out a call on her blog to her many followers for their ideas and support. Within a short span of time, the text has been translated into Hebrew, illustrated as a coloring book and on its way to being printed and distributed in Israel, starting with displaced children living in hotels.
As of the publishing of this article, the first 1,000 copies of the coloring book have been printed in Hebrew, with 500 copies, along with a donation of 500 boxes of Crayola crayons, set to be distributed to the displaced children in the Ramada Hotel in Jerusalem. Many yishuvim and cities are reaching out for the coloring book, including Ramat Beit Shemesh. A woman from the Stoliner Chasidic community, who delivers weekly packages to the wives of chayalim, is hoping to include the book in her gifts for Chanukah. Many people have reached out through LinkedIn offering to help with the distribution.
Walfish would appreciate additional help in disseminating the book to the many displaced children currently living in temporary quarters around Israel.
Your donations will be gratefully appreciated. You can donate through https://www.paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=UVN4RHMUXA8R2
Contact Yael and Naftoli Walfish at [email protected] or CenterForGreatness.com.
