We sometimes forget that the Jews accepted the Torah 50 days after their exodus from Mitzrayim. Yet, even though they were at the infancy stage of spiritual development, they were deemed as worthy recipients. This was due to their extraordinary show of emunah when they unconditionally accepted the Torah with the words “Na’aseh V’nishma, We will do and we will listen.” In doing so, they committed to abide by the mandates of the Torah without receiving any instructions or really understanding exactly what was expected of them. Yet, given the lowly status of their spirituality, one may legitimately question if they were really up to the task. Indeed, if we fast forward and consider all that occurred post Har Sinai, we can conclude that there is much more to connecting with God than to saying, “Yes, I will do as You say, no questions asked!” In fact, as our Torah scholars and current psychology teach us, in order to secure effective and lasting connections one has to extend oneself far beyond superficial or passive listening. Moreover, it is unrealistic to expect anyone to effectively comply with the mandates of others, especially those of an abstract God, without actively engaging in the process.
This is not an indictment against the courageous nation. We certainly understand that despite the pain and suffering they endured during their enslavement, they recognized the hand of God in the miracles of the plagues, the exodus and the splitting of the sea. Indeed, the show of faith in accepting the Torah unconditionally, given their previous experiences, is commendable. Still, we cannot shy away from the truth that once past the grandeur and excitement of the extraordinary miracles they experienced, the infant nation had to learn to deal with real life in their relationship with Hashem and Moshe Rabbeinu, and the important lesson embedded in this parsha is that the key to success in achieving our spiritual goals is to reverse the order of our first promise to God by putting the “Nishmah, we will listen” before the “Na’aseh, we will do,” and we can only do so by perfecting the listening factor in our relationships with God and others. The good news is that when we commit to positive change, the Torah always shows us the way. Indeed, the periods of rebellious behavior and disconnect from Hashem that the nation endured so soon after ma’amad Har Sinai bears testimony to the fact that there is more to connecting with others, as well as establishing and sustaining relationships, than making promises. Viewed through this lens, the additional 40 years of their extended stay in the Midbar was less a punishment and more a matter of the extra time they needed in the pristine environment of the Midbar, before they could fit into the mold of the Chosen People and “Guide to all Nations.”
Our rabbis teach us that there are two separate processes through which we connect with God: tefillah and Torah. When we daven we are talking to God; when we engage in Torah study, Hashem is talking to us. Last night in a shiur I attended by the esteemed Rabbi Moshe Weinberger he spoke to the importance of finding the time to engage in personal tefillot with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He suggested that we begin by finding a time and place each day where we empty our minds and “just be with God.” I take this to mean feeling so safe with Hakadosh Baruch Hu that we can open up our hearts and souls, sharing our deepest hopes, desires and fears with Him as we would with a beloved parent, and at the same time searching our souls to fully understand that which Hashem wants of us. We accomplish the first part through our tefillot, and the second portion via our Torah learning. In a similar manner, Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, in his pre-Mincha shiur this past Shabbos, spoke to a related topic: “The Art of Non-Defensive Listening.” He explained that typically when engaged in listening to another, we tend to pay greater attention to our own ideas regarding the situation at hand, and even preparing a defense, rather than focusing on the message or information the other is communicating. He encouraged us to use strategies that promote “non-defensive” listening in working toward strengthening our connections with God and those in our lives.
In exploring this topic I also came upon a shiur on Chabad.org, based on the wisdom of the Rebbe in his Likkutei Sichos. In analyzing the text in Parshat Yisro, the Rebbe demonstrates just how Hakadosh Baruch Hu opened the doors to engage with the young nation. He did so through the introductory words “Anochi Hashem Elokecha ….,” typically translated as “I am the Lord, your God.” Via a very slight change, the Rebbe transforms the meaning of these words. He translates them as “I, Anochi, the Lord your God,” that Hashem revealed not only His name, “Anochi,” but also His essence, of mercy and compassion. The Midrash deepens our understanding by teaching us that the word Anochi, which is of Egyptian origin, is not the typical manner in which Hashem introduces Himself in the Torah. Yet, He made this change in this case in order to meet the nation at their starting point in spiritual development. With these two words He communicated the message that He truly “got them,” and at the same time He also acknowledged and validated the faith and courage it took them to accept the Torah.
The lesson we learn here is that in relationship building we need to begin by accepting and appreciating the others in our relationships for “who they are,” rather than “who” and “where” we want them to be. With the word Anochi Hashem communicated the message that He “got them.” Moreover, He fully understood that despite the pain and suffering they endured as slaves in Mitzrayim, the act of being thrown into new and unknown, albeit seemingly safe, territories, felt unsafe to them, and as a result they felt vulnerable. Viewed through this lens, by introducing Himself with the name of Anochi, derived from their mother tongue, He soothed them with the familiarity of their previous surround. Despite the evil they experienced in Mitzrayim, they needed the comfort and safety of that which was familiar to them.
What a beautiful and transformative lesson we learn from the single word Anochi. Indeed, if we take the time to clear our matter-clogged minds and really listen to all of the background voices in our heads we will not only feel, but also hear Hashem’s unconditional compassion and love, and let us follow His example in the way we treat others. As our Torah teaches us, it is never about our “deserving” Hashem’s love and empathy. This is because He unconditionally doles out His kindheartedness and compassion whenever He hears our tears and prayers, even when we veer off the path. As a result, we can take comfort in the fact that He is waiting patiently for us to complete the process by placing the “nishma,” the “we will listen,” before the “Na’aseh, We will do.” We are no longer spiritual infants, and at this point in our history, when we are so close to the final geulah we are yearning for, this is exactly where Hashem expects us to be. Let us take the final steps noted above to reach our goal by tightening our connections with Hakadosh Baruch Hu and our fellow man, and in doing so we will not only hear His voice but also be privy to the messages He is sending to us each and every day. Let us lean on the courage of our ancestors who came to understand that Hashem is committed to waiting as long as it takes for us to complete our part in this mission and promise. Let us also remember that even in times when it feels as if we are alone, if we tune in and really listen we will hear the sounds of His beautiful world; they will appear in the words of the people we love and in the comforting messages Hashem sends our way via our tefillot and our Torah learning. All we have to do is to let go, listen wisely and act accordingly, and surely Hashem will do the rest.
By Renee Nussbaum, PhD, PsyA
Renee Nussbaum is a practicing psychoanalyst, with training in Imago and EFT. She also facilitates a chavruta in cyberspace on the weekly parsha, edited by Debbie Friedman. She can be reached at: [email protected].
