When I was 14 I experienced my first stop-me-in-my-tracks reaction to music. I had just been getting into Elton John—I was a tad late to the game—and heard “Your Song” for what I know was not the first time, but felt like the first time. I began to cry, connecting with the melody and lyrics, a rush of endorphins being released. This was, as I recall, when my love of music began. Until then I had thought of music as something in the background rather than a tool, an interest, or a way of connecting. After this point I began to really take in some of my now-favorite bands and artists, interpreting the music according to my mood and life stage and feeling not only seen and understood, but truly felt a deep connection to myself.
As we approach Parshat Beshalach, a chapter filled with song, I began to think about the theme of music in therapy and coping. As encouraged by a discussion with both my parents, I reflected on the way that music has the ability to heal and to help. It is noted that Shaul Hamelech (King Saul) would find peace when David played music for him, calming his mind and soothing his soul; this theme of music as healing has existed for hundreds of years. While this may not be novel—there is an entire field of music therapy—reviewing the basic impact of music on the soul may act as a reminder of the power of something easily accessible to all.
Below are ways to utilize music as a means of coping, managing emotions such as loneliness, sadness, or even joy—and of allowing music to transport the brain.
1. Meet Your Mood: This entails listening to music that matches your mood to provide a sense of expression. Moments when one experiences excitement and deep joy may be paired with an upbeat song or playlist to allow for the individual to truly feel the experience. When feeling sadness or loneliness, listening to slower music with melody or lyrics that represent the emotional experience may allow the person to feel the emotions—perhaps they feel unable to cry or feel cut off—but the music provides a moving experience and even permission to fully engage in the emotion.
2. Challenge Your Mood: Listen to music that differs from your current emotional state, perhaps with a feeling that you desire rather than what you are experiencing. For instance, when feeling anxious, listening to slow music may allow the individual to then slow down. This may reset the individual’s heart rate and allow the person to remain in the moment. When feeling sorrow, listening to upbeat music may feel like a challenge, but challenging oneself to go beyond the current feeling and instead listening to—perhaps—an inspiring song can transport the individual and the release of endorphins may actually alter one’s mood. It is important for each person to identify when listening to music that matches one’s mood—typically when experiencing depressive or anxious feelings—that it may lead to furthering this state. Essentially, identify when might the music endorse one’s mood and when would listening to a different sound act as a coping skill. Moods and deep feelings are not fleeting, but music can enable functioning and glimmers of hope.
3. Listening, playing, writing: It is important to note that music is not simply meant to be listened to, but played and written. While not all have this skill (yet), many find healing in creating, whether it be from scratch or with the use of pre-written melodies or songs. The creation of music can allow not only for a sense of accomplishment, but can provide a level of focus and engagement that allows the person to connect with an element that does not require any interpersonal dynamics. Rather, the person connects with the music and may feel a sense of peace, diligence or passion. The feeling of mastering a note can give a sense of accomplishment that can yield to a shift. Moreover, writing a piece of music or lyrics can allow for self-expression, communication and may allow the individual to feel heard in ways words do not.
4. Sing-along grounding: I recently discussed the advantages of using music and sing alongs for those having difficulty accessing the prefrontal cortex, as outlined in my previous piece. When an individual feels a high level of distress it is important to engage the mind. A skill I recommend is to search for a song that the individual doesn’t know by heart but is familiar with; then, search for the sing-along option and follow the words. This will ground the individual to come back to the present and feel less distress.
5. Belting it out: Sometimes, to truly connect to one’s feeling, it is essential (and fun!) to sing it out as loud as possible (when possible). Choose a song that represents the feeling state and express oneself the way other types of language are unable to do.
The Rambam held that listening to music is problematic due to the Churban (living without the Temple) as it can provide such a sense of joy. This being said, he also considered music to be highly therapeutic and recommended it as a means of soothing oneself for those struggling with ailments of the soul. There is a power to music that when used mindfully can provide healing and help to those in need.
Temimah Zucker, LCSW, is the assistant clinical director of Monte Nido Manhattan and works in private practice in Manhattan and will soon be seeing clients in Teaneck! She is also a national speaker on the subjects of body image, mental health and eating disorders and is an adjunct professor at the Wurzweiler School of Social Work. To learn more, visit www.temimah.com.
