We have been trying for the past four years to fit into the local mores of the community, and even went so far as to come down with the flu this past week. Apparently, New Jersey has been hit harder than any other state in the Northeast. One would have to give us an A for effort.
On Shabbat, our grandson Ezra came to see how we were doing. During his visit we heard a large crash in front of our house. Living on New Bridge Road, we have grown accustomed to hearing these sounds as people drive very closely to each other. Then, when a car decides to turn into a driveway, cars frequently hit each other, either because they are not paying attention or they are too close to the vehicle in front of them.
We all ran to look out the door, and there were the culprits—two cars, with the one in the rear suffering extreme damage to the front of his car, and perhaps there was slight damage to the first car. Noticeably, the driver of the first car did not come out of her car for quite awhile, while the driver of the second car popped out.
Within one minute (not sure how that happened) a policeman was there. He had positioned his car at the corner and all traffic was diverted in one direction off New Bridge toward Cameron. Shortly thereafter, two other police cars arrived. Eventually, the first driver got out of her car holding a specific part of her forehead. She assessed the damage to her car and got back into it.
As we watched, shortly thereafter a man came briskly walking down the street, obviously on his way to the accident. He must have been the husband of the driver of the first car. He briefly stopped to chat with her, patted her head and went on to talk with the policemen. At that point he walked back to his wife’s car (we are assuming) and she alighted from the car. They stood face to face with each other, and after speaking for several seconds they kissed. That kiss was moving because it was not a kiss of passion. It was a kiss of assurance and concern, it was a kiss of communication that she was not alone, it was a kiss of “this should be the worst thing that ever happens.” It seemed so innocently beautiful and we could relate to it so well. We have had so many such moments. It can be a recognition of something wonderful that was happening between us. It could be an assurance that we are never alone. It could be a moment where one needs a touch more confidence. We believe that it grows with the comfort that loving couples feel for each other. The familiarization of sharing secrets, bad and good, enjoying giggles, remembering past times, seeing something that you believe is funny with the knowledge that only one other person in the entire world would understand your weird sense of humor. To us, watching this couple reminded us of all of that. He came to comfort his wife and let her not be alone in a situation that can cause major stress. We thought of relationships where a husband would automatically blame the wife for having not driven properly without even knowing the cause. We thought of relationships of wives demeaning their husbands in front of others. We thought of children listening to parents bicker over ridiculous things. And then we remembered that special kiss of “It’s all right. I’m here for you.” We all need romance in a relationship. We all need to be reassured that we are loved. This form of a kiss was a beautiful reminder to us that a relationship is built on sound, reasonable growth together. These are the moments when love excels at its best.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
