A respectful disagreement with ORA and the Beth Din of America.

Supporting the RCA Prenuptial Since 1992

Let us clarify from the outset that I have been a vigorous supporter of every Jewish couple in the United States signing the Rabbinical Council of America prenuptial agreement since its introduction in 1992. My wife and I signed this prenuptial before our marriage, and our three married children and in-law children have signed it.

As an active get administrator who has overseen more than 3,000 gittin since 1993 as a dayan on the beth din of Elizabeth, I am deeply convinced of the efficacy of the RCA prenuptial. It resolves the fundamental problem mesadrei gittin (get administrator) face in the United States: the lack of jurisdictional authority. When visiting the Tel Aviv beit din in January 2019, I was struck by the sight of an armed Israeli policeman stationed at the beit din, displaying its governmental authority. If someone refuses to appear before an Israeli Rabbanut beit din, the dayanim can order the police to summon them.

In sharp contrast, when I visited a recalcitrant spouse (who had not signed the RCA prenuptial) in 1996, he reacted by chasing me away with a baseball bat. Another recalcitrant threw the summons to beit din—I had just handed him—into the garbage. Having every Jewish couple sign the prenuptial endows the beit din with government-backed enforcement. The prenuptial dignifies and empowers beit din with the enforcement power it well deserves. It is an urgent matter of kavod haTorah, not the advancement of any secular agenda.

With the halachic support of great poskim such as Rav Shmuel Fuerst, Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg, Rav Hershel Schachter, Rav Mendel Senderovic, Rav Asher Weiss, Rav Mordechai Willig and Rav Ovadia Yosef, time has shown the RCA prenuptial agreement to be a preeminent success. It has nearly eliminated “igun” (victims of spouses refusing to give or receive a get) in the communities that use it.

Protecting Men and Women

Fast forward to May 2023, when a young representative of ORA (the Organization for the Relief of Agunot) rightfully promoted the RCA prenuptial agreement to TABC graduating seniors. However, I was disturbed to see this young man pitch the RCA prenuptial solely to help women. When a student asked if it is also designed to help men, the presenter responded that there are hardly any cases of feminine recalcitrance, and thus only women need protection.

Upon hearing this statement, I jumped from my seat. I noted that I was dealing with four cases of female refusal at the time. As of the writing of this piece, I am struggling to find a resolution to three cases of women refusing to receive a get when it is appropriate to do so. I also informed the presenter that a 1992 TABC graduate faced a wife who refused a get in 2019, but only complied after his attorney emailed her attorney a copy of their prenuptial agreement and warned that he intended to enforce it.

For some unexplained reason, feminine get recalcitrance does not receive media attention, and most do not know it exists. People are shocked to discover the existence of male victims of get abuse. However, many of my colleagues in the gittin field agree that female get refusal is far from rare. This should not be unexpected. Some women behave improperly, and some men act poorly. Their victims—no matter their gender—require our help and support.

The RCA Reciprocal Prenuptial Agreement

While signing the standard RCA prenuptial agreement helps avoid male igun, the RCA reciprocal agreement is even better. In this version, the husband-to-be and the wife-to-be agree to pay $150 per day for the duration of the Jewish marriage, which takes effect after the beit din determines that recalcitrance is involved.

I find it puzzling that the Beth Din of America (BDA) does not offer the reciprocal version on the www.prenup.org website; it only provides it upon request. By contrast, I feel it important to publicize this important version—especially to eliminate the scourge of male get refusal and its female counterpart.

Conclusion

I hope this article will help set the record straight and present a balanced picture of the realities of the get administration field. ORA deserves its fine reputation for doing much good in helping agunot. It is time for this worthy organization to expand its vision to include the elimination of all igun. As to the BDA, I respectfully suggest that the time has come to add the reciprocal agreement to the offerings at www.theprenup.org. I also respectfully suggest to the Beth Din of America to increase the daily support outlined in the prenuptial to $200 a day for use in the United States.

May Hashem crown our efforts to increase kavod haTorah with success!

Rabbi Jachter serves as the rav of Congregation Shaarei Orah, rebbe at Torah Academy of Bergen County and a get administrator with the Beth Din of Elizabeth. Rabbi Jachter’s 20 books may be purchased at Amazon and Judaica House.