The recent rise in anti-Semitism in our neighboring communities has left the Jewish community shocked, angry, disappointed and above all fearful. While we continue to strive to proudly own our identities, and walk with heads held high as so many did on January 5 on the walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, and as so many do each day not only across the country but also across the world—there is still this existing anxiety. A feeling perhaps in the back of one’s mind, perhaps in the forefront, perhaps only visiting in particular situations—but it is there. The nervousness of history repeating itself or of being in harm’s way.
This piece is not meant to be a political discourse. Rather, I want to highlight the impact that this fear or nervousness can have on our brains, our bodies and our relationships and to provide tools to understand and manage this experience.
First and foremost, it is essential to acknowledge the impact that fear, anxiety and trauma can have on the body. They can lead to psychosomatic symptoms, elevated heart rate, sweating, mannerisms, racing thoughts, dissociation and maladaptive behavioral responses—among others. Typically, once activated, we are able to calm ourselves down and use our logical minds, our prefrontal cortex, to remind ourselves that all is okay—or to maintain a sense of calm even if we are unsure of the situation. There are times when some individuals experience a disconnect between the prefrontal cortex and other parts of the brain that tell the body to function normally. For instance, an individual who exhibits symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has difficulty becoming calm or remaining present. In these circumstances, the prefrontal cortex has difficulty signaling to the amygdala and hippocampus that things are all right, and the body therefore stays in a “freeze” state even if the individual is not at risk but may be experiencing a flashback or even when it is confirmed that the individual is not currently in danger.
The brain has an extremely powerful impact over the body; when individuals experience a lack of safety outside of themselves and in the world they may translate this to then feel a lack of safety within themselves. This is to say, when an individual learns over time that “the world is unsafe” in a way that causes heightened fear and anxiety, the way that this person may try to manage this fear or have a sense of control is by displacing this feeling onto themselves and then assuming their own bodies are not safe.
An attempt may be made to alter their bodies; examples include eating disorder behaviors, substance abuse, self-harm etc. This attempt is not rational; it is a means of coping for an individual who likely experienced pain, trauma and rigid thought patterns. The goal, as supporters, is to help that person feel a sense of safety and to learn that while there may not be an assurance of safety always, there is safety that exists—in other words, to find the grey area when the thought patterns are “black or white.”
You now have an introduction into understanding the brain’s experience and way of coping when feeling unsafe. So, what can one do? How can you help yourself or another individual who is struggling?
1. As a supporter, validate that these thoughts are real. It is not helpful to use simple “logic”—if it were this simple, diagnoses like PTSD would not exist. Instead, create a calm, caring, inviting environment by being mindful of tone. Ask questions. Help the person to feel heard. Ask what reminders might feel helpful to challenge the black-and-white thoughts.
2. Ground. With regard to the body’s reaction to fear, it is essential to ground and to bring oneself back to the present. There are many tools people use to ground. Feeling your body in your seat, feet on the ground, touching the area around you. Look for all colors of the rainbow, identify five sights, four sounds, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. Look around at people’s jewelry or clothes. Count ceiling tiles or trees. Imagine a safe place and look around at the details of that “environment.” This is typically the first step in bringing oneself into the present, which will then allow for calm decision making and self-care.
3. Engage your prefrontal cortex. When you may have difficulty calming your body’s reaction to anxiety, employ your logic. I always encourage individuals to use a skill within reach that they already have inside their head (rather than a game—although this can work if the individual is able to remember to calmly pull up a game on one’s phone or in a book such a crossword.) It is helpful and at times vital to do this out loud. For instance, multiplication tables, reciting lyrics to a song, recalling the names of previous teachers. These types of “problems” are within reason when experiencing anxiety but do not require intense logic. Once completed, it is also helpful to practice the above grounding skills.
Teaching safety within ourselves when we may not feel safe in the world is a skill and for many, requires practice. It is important to approach one another and ourselves without judgment and with curiosity. To know that while we may not have control over a sense of safety, we can practice safety in our minds and bodies and look to one another for hope and community.
Temimah Zucker, LCSW, is the assistant clinical director of Monte Nido Manhattan. She speaks nationally and writes on the subjects of eating disorders, body image and mental health issues. She sees clients in private practice in New York City and will soon be opening a practice in Teaneck! To learn more, visit www.temimah.com.
