Many have asked over the years (no one has asked) what I drive. Well, today, I’m going to break down my garage and explain why I chose each vehicle. Let’s be clear from the start: I know I have a problem, and I’m not looking for a solution.

Let’s start responsibly—then quickly lose control.

The Sensible Choices (Sort Of)

2024 Jeep Grand Cherokee L: I searched long and hard for the 5.7L V8, I tried to hold out for the Hurricane six, and yet… I ended up with the ever-reliable, ever-boring 3.6L V6. It was leasing better than anything else two years ago, so I bit the bullet. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I’m still counting down the 14 months left on the lease (call me if you want to take it over!).

Audi E-Tron GT (Tesla, But With Soul): I had a Tesla. I loved the Tesla. But I also planned to enjoy gas-powered cars until they were outlawed—until this deal came along. Some days, I’m a car guy, but on others, I’m just a deal guy, and this was the best deal on the market. It’s everything a Tesla isn’t—worse tech, better driving experience and one of the best-looking cars on the road. I love this car.

2025 Ram 1500 Limited (The One That Makes Me Forget the Others Exist): Remember how I wanted to wait for the Hurricane six? Well, this has the 540-horsepower version. Zero to 60 in 4.2 seconds—same as a BMW M340i or Porsche 718 Cayman GTS 4.0. It’s stupid fast for a truck, the air suspension is insanely smooth, and the interior is luxury-car nice. Since I got it, I barely drive anything else.

The Less Responsible
(But Way More Fun) Choices

1968 Pontiac Firebird: I bought this when I was 18 after a year in Israel for $1,600, running and driving—it needed some bodywork (it needed everything).

I’d heard that if you tie a rope to a car and put a “Car In Tow” sign in the window, you can legally drive it without registration or insurance. Naturally, I did no research and went for it. When the rope broke, it almost killed my sister (sorry, Rina!).

After a summer of driving it, the Firebird caught fire. No big deal—I put it out and let it rest overnight. Then, like all truly great cars, it caught fire again. That’s when I decided to take it apart and rebuild it in a month or two. That was 28 years ago.

Today, it has:

A 383ci Chevy Stroker motor

A T5 5-speed manual transmission

Zero bodywork

My wife would rather save money than paint it.

My kids would rather ruin the paint than appreciate it.

So, we just don’t care, and somehow, that makes it even better.

1986 Jeep CJ7: When I was 16, I got a Florida driver’s license with a New Jersey address (don’t ask). Naturally, I needed something subtle—so I bought a red, lifted Jeep CJ7. It’s on its second motor and second body, painted BMW Frost Gray (satin finish), lifted 2.5 inches with 35” tires, and makes about as much power as a ride-on lawnmower. It’s slow, but it puts a smile on my face every time I drive it.

1987 Chevy K10: While on vacation in Long Branch three years ago, I saw a clean-looking 1987 K10 pickup—lifted higher than I like, but tempting. I thought, I’ll flip this to cover the trip.

That was a terrible mistake.

A few months ago, I shipped it to the Poconos to a mechanic (fine, a plumber) who says he can get it road-ready by summer. We’ll see.

The Two-Wheeled and Off-Road Toys

1968 Honda Scrambler: Fully disassembled (because why finish projects?).

Polaris 570 ATV: Brand new, because sometimes you just want something that works.

Final Thoughts

So, there you have it—the Samson Stable. A little responsibility, a lot of fun, and a whole lot of questionable financial decisions.

Next month, I’ll tell you about my first ATV and why you probably need one too.