When I was a teenager, a wildly popular song included the following lyrics: “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints; the sinners have much more fun.” Wrong! Those who follow the Torah way are not only rewarded in the next world, their lot in this world is vastly superior to those who disregard its wholesome and healthy guidance. Chazal communicate this critically important point in their inimitable fashion by relating several unforgettable incidents.

Shockingly Graphic Talmudic Stories

The Gemara, in sometimes shockingly graphic detail, describes the exploits of very promiscuous individuals. Such stories appear in Avoda Zara 17a, Avoda Zara 65a and Menachot 44a. One wonders why Chazal broach such highly indelicate matters in such a straightforward manner.

Chazal intend to combat the notion that unrestrained individuals enjoy a superior quality of life to those who remain within the bounds of the Torah. Therefore, Chazal share with us the outcomes of such episodes. Each sordid tale ends in frustration and often ruin. Chazal thereby express that while superficially the sinner seems to prosper, our way (as Rav starkly states in Avoda Zara 65a) “is far superior to theirs.”

Elazar ben Dordaya

For example, the Gemara describes the wild escapades of “Rabi” Elazar ben Dordaya. One might be tempted to think that Elazar enjoyed life more than most. However, the Gemara bluntly dispels this notion by sharing a sordid story where a woman of ill repute from a land far removed from Eretz Yisrael reprimands him for his vile behavior. Perhaps this was Elazar ben Dordaya’s imagination and conscience speaking to him. He subsequently desperately sought to return to Hashem until he shrieked in deep despair until he left this world in agony.

While the Gemara records that a Bat Kol (heavenly voice) rang out proclaiming that Hashem accepted Elazar ben Dordaya’s teshuva and admitted him to Olam Haba, his lot in life is pitiful. Elazar ben Dordaya had to die. After the life he lived, he could not have returned to a normal and healthy life.

Moreover, my beloved TABC colleague Rav Yoni Mandelstam notes that Elazar ben Dordaya embodied and symbolized his horrific behavior, comparable to an actor who becomes associated with a specific character. Just as such actors often cannot assume any other role, Elazar ben Dordaya could not adopt a new lifestyle even if he was so determined to do so. Rav Mandelstam also noted the similarity to the Torah’s command to eliminate the animal that engaged in bestiality since it was associated and labeled with such despicable behavior (see Vayikra 20:15 with Rashi).

Finally, Elazar ben Dordaya’s lot in the next world is not enviable. The Mishna (Avot 4:17) describes the immense satisfaction of those admitted to Olam Haba. Their contentment derives from a sense of accomplishment from a life well-lived. For this reason, the Gemara (Bava Batra 10b) teaches that “Ashrei mi sheba l’chan v’Talmudo b’yado, happy is one who arrives in the next world having mastered the Torah.” What quality of Olam Haba does Elazar ben Dordaya enjoy? Little to none! What can he savor other than his having wasted his life on folly?

The Vastly Superior Torah Lifestyle

In sharp contrast, the Torah promotes happy and healthy living in all areas of life. Married, observant couples do not grow bored of each other, as Rabi Meir (Niddah 31b) teaches. The dramatically lower divorce rate in the Orthodox community (https://www.ou.org/jewish_action/03/2017/data-divorce-q-dr-yitzchak-schechter) compared to those outside this orbit stunningly demonstrates the superiority of a Torah-family lifestyle.

Conclusion: Ours Is Better than Theirs

A life of Torah observance exquisitely equips one with all the tools necessary for success in marital life. Torah living instills the values of restraint, giving to others, compromising between individuals, and deep devotion to Hashem and family. These are the essential ingredients for a lifetime of marital contentment, satisfaction and happiness. There is no need to harbor a secret sense of jealousy for the life of the likes of Elazar ben Dordaya. Ours is the far better life in all its many facets in this and the next world.

Rabbi Haim Jachter is the spiritual leader of Congregation Shaarei Orah, the Sephardic Congregation of Teaneck. He also serves as a rebbe at Torah Academy of Bergen County and a dayan on the Beth Din of Elizabeth.