It is not a coincidence that this week’s issue of The Link falls on Thursday, July 9, which is Shiva Asar B’Tamuz. Listening to and observing much that has been going on in our local communities over the past few months, we do not find it random at all. It is perhaps an awakening for all of us at the beginning of the Three Weeks to think seriously about the sinat chinam that many of us have been unwillingly exposed to over the past few months.

Concern about one another is beautiful if it is channeled in the right direction. Derogatory comments directed at journalists with total lack of respect for their integrity, hard work and the sincere intentions that are involved in each written word are hurtful and without cause.

Constant comments about who is and is not wearing masks or social distancing, or whether or not children are riding their bikes too close to each other, are spiteful and unnecessary. Each person chooses to do what they feel is best for themselves. There are those who have chosen to stay at home and only sit within the outside confines of their home. Their choice is to do what they are most comfortable with.

We all have that choice to make. Why is it necessary to spend so much time complaining about others? We laugh when we read about the “concerns” about the free food that is so generously being distributed to families with children by our local Jewish organizations. We have read the different complaints, including “They should have made it cholov Yisroel.” Some complained that it is not healthy, with so much apple juice and chocolate milk being distributed. They say there is so much “prepped” food; why not more grocery items? Too much milk; my family does not drink 1%. Others are not happy with the distribution methods. Oh my gosh…for free food?

And the judgments keep on coming. Who went to Target? Really? Was it safe? Costco—how was it? I can’t believe that you went to Trader Joe’s. The aisles are not marked? I would not go there. Comment after comment. Sending your kids to camp? Backyard camp, sleepaway camp? Kids still Zooming activities at home to be safe? Each person has to make their own choices, but they are their own personal choices and no one has the right to ridicule or criticize what another is doing. Your kids came to visit—my kids only come to my backyard—well, we already had the virus—all individual choices. No one else’s business. There is almost an undercurrent of jealousy going on here. He did this—I didn’t do that—should I do that—no, the virus.

The bottom line is that no one knows much about this virus and everyone is really fed up and scared. Yet the sinat chinam that we see going on here is heartbreaking. It would be our hope that the upcoming Three Weeks give us all a chance to reflect on our actions and our words. Take a deep breath before getting ready to begin a tirade about your neighbor and the fact that they are allowing their grandchildren to visit from Baltimore. They have made one choice and you are making another. Do not criticize.

There are those of us who have chosen the option of visiting a restaurant of our choice and sitting on West Englewood Avenue, pretending for just a few hours that we are able to do something normal again. No one is forcing anyone to participate. Yet comments about the tables being too close to each other, the oppressive heat making it unpleasant to eat outside, the plastic plates, etc., are constantly made. Comments go on and on about what is wrong. How about the gratitude that many of us feel toward the town of Teaneck for making this happen? If you don’t like the way something is then just do not participate. Why is it necessary to rain down those comments and complaints? Is there a tinge of jealousy here? Is this not what sinat chinam is?

We have all participated in many challenges: The Pepsi challenge or the challenge of pouring water over our heads for ALS, but none of them required us to hold back our words and negative thoughts.

Let’s take the Three Week challenge and work on improving ourselves during this very difficult time.

Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick are living in Bergenfield after many years of service to the Montreal Jewish community. Rabbi Glick was the rav of Congregation Ahavat Yisroel as well as a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice. He also taught at Champlain Regional College. The Glicks were frequent speakers at the OU marriage retreats. Nina coordinated all Yachad activities in Montreal and was a co/founder of Maison Shalom, a group home for young adults with special needs. They can be reached at [email protected].