In contrast to the victim of get-refusal, the war widows desperately wanted to stay with their husbands. They became agunot due to evil forces from without.
These pages have seen many articles about agunot of different types. The following lines will bring to light the “unspoken agunot.”
The common case of an agunah is a victim of get-refusal. Her problematic halachic standing is created from within the marriage—stemming from her spouse’s refusal to end the marriage.
The very intimacy they once shared has developed into polar-opposite positions. One partner takes the extreme position of wanting to divorce and the other takes the extreme position of refusing to divorce. When added together, there may be no divorce but neither is there a marriage. The untenable situation originates from within.
The horrific Oct. 7, 2023 attack and the ensuing war have battered the people of Israel with dreadful tragedies: murder, crimes against humanity, captivity, torture, fallen in battle, serious injuries, and the list goes on. Almost every horror-filled situation has been brought before the public—but not the “unspoken agunot.”
What Are ‘Unspoken Agunot’?
According to government figures, nearly 1,200 Israelis were murdered on Oct. 7—both civilians and military personnel. It was not reported how many of the men among them were husbands whose wives survived the attack, but the Military Rabbinate knew.
On Oct. 7 and the days that followed, almost all the victims of the massacre, both civilian and military, were brought to Machane Shura as the bodies were discovered. This army base houses the headquarters of the Military Rabbinate, including an innovative facility designed to be capable of working in extreme war events on a national scale.
The holy work of identifying the bodies was painstakingly slow. The challenge of identifying the dead stemmed from the large number of fatalities and the significant mutilation of some of the bodies. The Military Rabbinate worked incessantly to enable the families of missing individuals to reach closure. Nevertheless, by Oct. 25, there were still 200 bodies that were not identified.
Significantly, the Military Rabbinate was aware of an additional deep problem—that of the wives whose husbands’ bodies were not identified, the agunot. The process of identification included assistance from the Religious Services Ministry, the Health Ministry, the Chief Rabbinate of Israel, the Israel Police, and the ZAKA rescue and recovery organization. A wide variety of tools and methods were employed—from forensic, medical and dental experts to archaeologists from the Israel Antiquities Authority.
All findings were presented to the panel of rabbinical judges who sat as a beit din, employing seldom-used sections of Jewish law relating to the identification of bodies where the standard means of identification were lacking. The Military Rabbinate, feeling the women’s compounded anguish and comprehending the calamity of even one agunah, worked with urgency to resolve all the cases. They succeeded in their sacred mission.
In contrast to the victim of get-refusal, the war widows desperately wanted to stay with their husbands. They became agunot due to evil forces from without. Conversely, the holy actors who labored unremittingly, worked quietly, sensitively and with reverence to resolve the additional trauma endured by the widows—words cannot afford them the praise they deserve.
Having witnessed the unanticipated catastrophe of war, terrorism or even a lone car accident, our understanding of minimizing a compound tragedy is sharpened. We all know that accidents can happen. That is why we put on a seat belt and buy car insurance. Likewise, health insurance does not prevent illness or need for surgery, but it can cover the costs. Similarly, a couple about to marry see their lives together continuing forever, but the truth is that life can bring about events beyond their control.
As a significant gesture of deep love and maturity, every marrying couple should take measures to minimize the tragedy should disaster strike. Israeli society in particular should be aware that there is a halachic solution that can prevent the creation of an unspoken agunah, found in The Tripartite Agreement (jewishprenup.org). This document, signed just before the wedding, provides the resolution if needed, God forbid, to the unexpected creation of an agunah.
International Agunah Day falls yearly on the Fast of Esther—this year on Thursday, March 13.
The writer is director of the Aguna and Get-Refusal Prevention Project of Young Israel in Israel (yiisrael.com) and the Jewish Agency. She holds a PhD in rabbinic law, is an author of the “Agreement for Mutual Respect,” and the first female rabbinical court advocate to sit on the Israel Commission for the Appointment of Rabbinical Court Judges.
