Have Children

In regards to the piece “How Will Your Children Parent You?” (November 3, 2016), by Adena Blickstein, I was a bit put off. I understand her point about parenting your children to be good people, but some of her “tips” were mildly offensive. First of all, by saying “Have children, it is an investment in your future” — some people are unable to have children and by saying you are having them to help you is rather selfish. I do not think that is the reason to have children. Secondly, you can do your best to raise your children, but it doesn’t guarantee that they are going to be there to take care of you in your old age or at all. Even if you set the best examples. Some children move to Israel; does that mean they are bad children? Some children are just selfish; does that mean you were a bad parent?

I experienced, first hand, what it is like to be my father’s advocate this summer, and I was witness to his neighbors in the hospital and rehab who did not have anyone advocating for them, but I did what I could when I was there to help those people. This is a sad fact of life, but perhaps instead of making people feel bad about how their children turn out, despite the parents’ best efforts, Dr. Blickstein could have suggested becoming a volunteer at a hospital or nursing facility. Because when it comes to children, you can only do your best and the rest is mazal.

Respectfully,

Banji Ganchrow