There are many themes surrounding Pesach that provide inspiration and methodological paradigms for the enterprise of education. The form of dialogue, rather than lecture, comes to mind. The importance of demonstration, rather than using words alone, comes to mind. And the notion of addressing each learner on his or her own level and need, rather than having a “cookie-cutter” approach, comes to mind.
There is, however, an overarching theme with regard to Pesach that I would like to address in this article—that of Zeman Cheiruteinu, the time of our freedom. This is the phrase that Chazal used to identify the essential character of this holiday. Of course, the obvious meaning of “Cheiruteinu” reflects the idea that we were slaves to Par’oh—abused, oppressed, and horribly mistreated, after which, through Hashem’s providence, we were set free. But I believe that there is an underlying, subtle idea to “Cheiruteinu” as well, one that ought to inform all of us as parents and educators.
Slavery is something that affects a person’s physical state, as well as his or her psychological / mental state. Not only is a slave bound by the restrictions of the slave duties, but he or she is also constrained in the very way the slave thinks and feels. A truly free person is able to think independently, confidently and creatively. A slave is bound by dependence upon the will of the master, and therefore has no independence of thought. In this sense, ironically, one can be a non-slave, and still be bound by a slave mentality—functioning only to please the will of others, not thinking for one’s self—and one can be indentured by others yet really have a free person’s mentality.
There is a famous story told of Natan Sharansky, who was imprisoned in Russia, before he was permitted to emigrate to Israel. His guard taunted him and challenged him with the question, “Where is your God? You want to be free, and yet you continue to be imprisoned here?” Sharansky replied that it was he—Natan—who was really free. In the confines of his cell, he imagined what he would be doing as an oleh to Israel; he was able to dream and think for himself, whereas the guard was not able to think for himself—he was bound by the constraints and dictates of the Communist party line. Sharansky told his captor that he felt sorry for him!
Pesach, as the Zeman Cheiruteinu, teaches us that it is important to aspire to the ideal of being freed from the dependent, immature slave mentality—to step out of the restraints that rob us from the ability to think, decide and act for ourselves. The Torah could be given only to a nation of free people—those who could engage in the wisdom of Torah and in the life of morality that is defined by creative, engaged thought and action. And so, with all of this, let us turn for a moment to the world of chinuch, of the education of our children.
By definition, infancy and childhood necessarily involve dependence of thought and action. Infants, toddlers and children vitally and critically need the support, nurturing and supervision of the adults who care for them. This is essentially part of their very growth and development. At the same time, it behooves those adults to think—early on—of a pathway to help gently and thoughtfully nudge the child toward independence of thought and feeling. Of course, this must be carefully designed, and age-appropriate. But it ought to be very much on our minds as parents and educators all the while that we are parenting and teaching our children. The increasing phenomenon during these times—of hovering parents and teachers who, at all costs, do not want to see their children and students hurt or fail, unknowingly and well-meaningly contribute to the continued state of unhealthy dependence in the children—the state of slave mentality.
Cheiruteinu means having the courage and confidence to teach our children how to succeed, and yes, how to fail and get up from that failure. How to use their own minds rather than slaving to please the herd mentality of those around them just because.
That independence and creativity of thought leads to happier and more confident children, even though the path along the way is paved with bumps of frustration.
I will end with one more short story. A while ago, while one of my very young grandchildren could not yet crawl on her own, I had the pleasure of babysitting her. She was lying on her stomach on the carpet, with a bright, shiny toy just out of reach. She tried to move her legs and arms to reach out to grab the toy, and was not able to do so. Clearly she was getting a bit frustrated. I was so tempted to just move the toy to within her reach so that her frustration would end. I stopped myself very quickly, realizing that she needed that frustration as a motivation to try, and that this was essential for her growth. In the end, after a number of failed attempts on her part, instead of moving the toy, I put my hand next to her foot so that the next time she moved her foot to try to get the toy, the resistance of my hand would help propel her forward. And that was a teachable moment for independence of thought.
As we take the lessons of Zeman Cheiruteinu and apply them to our own lives throughout the year, let us remember the ideal of helping to nurture independent, creative and confident thinkers and doers—the true recipients of our Torah HaKedoshah—to imbue our lives with meaning and value. Chag Kasher VeSameiach!
Rabbi Saul Zucker is head of school at Ben Porat Yosef.
