Gmar Chatima Tova to all of you. It’s an auspicious moment—Neilah. For me, since my earliest childhood memories, Neilah has become the ultimate moment in time, its symbolisms, meanings so deep, so profound. I’ve written before (shared with some) those thoughts before, but I don’t think any Neilah past, and hopefully none in the future, can come close to this one. The sun is at the top of the trees, the open aron, the repetitive “chatmainu,” that final Avinu Malkeinu (even on Shabbos), the uniqueness of Shema, Boruch Shem, Hashem Hu….the Book of Life sealed, the gates closing, the final plaintiff sound of the shofar. We wish, hope, pray that we enter the new year, 5781, for good health and good fortune.
But…this year, this moment, is different. As the gates of shamayim close, we pray, beseech, implore Hashem: Do not shut them completely, do not lock them—let them remain “ajar”…let the gates emit the past; we have need for the past. We have experienced six months or so of such upheaval, such turmoil in our lives: lockdowns, quarantines, tests, more tests, isolation…and losses too deep, personal and emotional to sometimes comprehend. We have mourned loved ones, spouses, siblings, relatives, friends, community names, fellow shul goers. Deep losses, unfulfilled good-byes, unfulfilled rites of mourning.
Hashem….do not lock the gates away from us for 5780. We need, we yearn, to remember those precious individuals, to acknowledge all their meanings in our lives still today. We pray that their memories stay with us, nurture us, strengthen us, be blessings for us and our loved ones.
Chatmainu—seal us for good, life, prosperity, health—in their memories, and let us today, here, now look to those closing gates and hope they are not locked away from us—slightly open, slightly ajar with Your shining light on us, bringing their memories always to life in us.
Gmar Tov.
Robert (Bob) Meyer is a retired NYC teacher, former NYC senior paramedic instructor, life member TVAC and teacher at Ohr Simcha in Englewood. More Neilah “thoughts” at [email protected].
