By nature, we tend to be a sociable community. We gather together in shul to daven and to celebrate smachot. We arrange playdates for our kids for after school or Shabbat afternoons. We attend school events to mark our children’s milestones. And yet, this last year we barely interacted with anyone who wasn’t in our immediate households or pods. Rather than gathering together, we were isolated—from our shuls, from our families, from our neighbors. Quarantine, isolation, Zoom school, Seders for one sadly became the norm.
As more and more people get vaccinated, and schools and shuls begin to loosen their restrictions, a group of women from various shuls in the Teaneck and Bergenfield communities got together this week to form the Women’s Achdus Committee. Achdus means unity. Some of the shuls represented included Beth Aaron, Beth Abraham, Rinat Yisrael, Ohr HaTorah, BMOB and Keter Torah. They spent the evening discussing practical ways we can all make significant changes in how we interact with one another before we fall back into old patterns.
The timing is perfect. As we all re-learn how to socialize, this is the time to take some of the lessons learned during the pandemic and make ourselves and our families better people. “As we emerge from COVID, we want to do so in a growth-oriented fashion,” said Shani Stein Ratzker. “We want to grow and move forward, not go back to where we were. We feel strongly the way to do so will be through connection.”
The committee came up with five ideas to kick-start this achdus initiative and they welcome readers of The Jewish Link to take on one or more, and to come up with their own.
1. Take a walk with your family on Shabbat and start a conversation with a family that is new to the community or someone who until now has just been an acquaintance.
2. Invite a family to a backyard kiddush.
3. Host a potluck seuda shelishit for your block.
4. Encourage your children to be inclusive of neighborhood children who may not be in their yeshiva—or may not be in yeshiva at all—and invite them for play dates and smachot.
5. Take on a family project to try to be non-judgmental and, in fact, to judge others favorably.
Simply put, we’ve all spent so much time by ourselves, now is the perfect time to remind ourselves and to teach our kids to be accepting and welcoming of all people, from all different backgrounds. Like so many things, the committee members all agreed that these lessons have to start in the home. Only then will they radiate out into the community.
“By taking on one of these initiatives, we hope to unite our community and come out of COVID healthier and stronger,” said Stein Ratzker.
The Teaneck-Bergenfield community has always been regarded as a warm and welcoming community. During COVID, the community was generally very strict with mask wearing, social distancing and other CDC guidelines. The RCBC was touted for its forward-thinking and constant guidance in being the first rabbinic group in American to close shuls.
Admittedly, different communities and different families observed these rules in their own way. Now, as we come out of COVID, the hope of this group is that we will give one another the benefit of the doubt and be accepting of one another—regardless of how they followed the guidelines—as we once again get out and begin to socialize.
The group recognizes that there still may be those who are not comfortable with gatherings, even if they are outside, so for those families, learning Pirkei Avot or a daily or weekly lesson from a Chofetz Chaim Foundation sefer would be a great family activity that would still teach the same lessons.
The committee will meet again in two months to assess progress and discuss what else they can do to get more community members involved and help create even more achdus in our community. To learn more or to get involved, email
[email protected].
By Sara Kosowsky Gross
