והוי מקבל את כל האדם בםבר פנים יפות

…and receive everyone with a cheerful face.

(Avot 1, 15)

In what now seems long ago during normal times, I served as a volunteer in the admissions office of a local hospital. For most people, entering a hospital for treatment can often be an anxiety-producing experience. My task was to make incoming patients and their family members feel more comfortable while escorting them to their various testing locations.

After some time in admissions, I got to know and befriend many of the registrars in the department. There is a hospital rule requiring anyone not inoculated against the flu virus to wear a face mask. A few registrars began wearing masks and yet I was able to easily identify them. But what I found most fascinating was the fact that during our conversations, I was also able to determine whether they were smiling. You see, when someone smiles, his/her eyes often crinkle.

The above quote from Pirkei Avot enjoins us to wear a pleasant demeanor when interacting with everyone with whom we come into contact. While this may seem challenging at times, with little practice it is quite easy to do. As I learned in admissions and elsewhere in life, most people are invariably polite, and are generous with their returned smiles. After all, as I quote author Dr. Mark Stibich in my book “Seven Steps to Mentschhood,” “Everyone smiles in the same language.”

Now in this time of coronavirus, with most of us wearing face masks, it is substantially more difficult to follow our rabbis’ advice to present a cheerful face. Just recently, my wife and I started venturing out of our sequestered home early in the morning, to shop in the supermarket. There, with everyone wearing masks, it initially appeared that without facial recognition, everyone was kind of gliding by one another in his own universe. Yet after a while it became clear that without any spoken words, positive personal interaction was taking place. There were many instances of people politely allowing others to walk in front of them, and one heard many more “thank yous” than usual. Their smiles, so to speak, came through their masks. During one such interaction, my wife, not knowing the person, nonetheless expressed to her a very warm Mother’s Day greeting. At that moment it occurred to me that usually, when paying compliments to one another, we see and respond to each other’s faces. Now, while a little more difficult, a warm smile can be exchanged anonymously. The coronavirus teaches us that just as charity is preferably given anonymously, acts of politeness and chesed can still be successfully practiced the same way.

There are few acts that are so simple yet yield as valuable a reward as smiling at others. Practitioners know that invariably a smile to a perfect stranger will nonetheless be returned in kind. During this time of mask wearing, we can practice our politeness and smiles without concern or embarrassment. When real life returns, how wonderful will the reaction be to our cheerful faces. As Dr. Stibich reminds us, “A smile is something you can’t give away; it always comes back to you.”

Stanley Fischman is currently the supervisor of general studies instruction at the Jewish Educational Center in Elizabeth, NJ. He was a yeshiva elementary principal for 35 years, and also served as director of general studies at Ben Porat Yosef in Paramus. Recently he celebrated his 50th anniversary of educating Jewish children. He is the author of “Seven Steps to Mentschhood—How to Help Your Child Become a Mentsch.”