Over the course of any given week, kind-hearted folks give me suggestions of what I should write about. Some of these folks also may preface a conversation with, “Please don’t write about this!” or, “I can’t believe you wrote about that!” I can never win. Once in a while, I will have a couple of topics brought to my attention that I find inspiring, and I decided to compile some of those topics into this week’s column. I hope that you will enjoy them as well. And if you don’t, please feel free to let me know.
I was visiting a friend of my parents, who is also someone I have known my whole life. He and his wife are one of those couples that just really love each other. They speak to each other respectfully and they gaze lovingly at each other when they think that no one else is watching. It is a truly beautiful thing.
His wife is a nurse and, with each of my babies, she spent time helping me adjust and readjust to motherhood. She taught me how to hold, nurse and change my cuties. She helped me at each bris, wiped my tears, calmed my nerves and changed some really nasty diapers so that I wouldn’t have to. She was amazing and I am forever grateful to her for all the help she gave me. A wonderful friend to my parents, she is always available for any kind of support, especially if it includes a trip to Trader Joe’s. Her husband fell a few weeks ago and fractured his hip, so now he is recuperating and trying to get back to his old self which, at his age, unfortunately, takes some time, but hopefully, he will get there. If people were to recover based on the encouragement they received from their spouses, he would have been 100% already, but things don’t work that way (though wouldn’t it be nice if they did?).
In any event, we were having a lovely visit at the rehab when my friend came up with a brilliant idea. She asked me if I knew anyone in the clothing manufacturing business and, off hand, I couldn’t think of anyone but, if you are in the business and you are reading this, please contact me and let me know if you can help us out. My friend wants to develop a line of clothing for the “senior set.” Stylish and comfortable, with a unique twist. We need this line of clothing to come with a layer of protective bubble wrap sewn in the fabric. Yes, that’s right, bubble wrap. But the kind that doesn’t pop, the kind that you will be able to put in the washing machine and dryer. The kind that if your loved one is wearing it and they take a fall, the bubble wrap will protect them from hurting themselves or breaking anything. It’s a genius idea. Such a simple concept could have amazing long-term results. Fewer broken hips and other body parts and the comfort of knowing that your family member is well protected in his track suit. Okay, so that is one idea that is worth pursuing.
The next topic that came up, when I was visiting a younger person who is post surgery, was that of the epidemic that hits our community every few years. And when I say our community, I mean the Jewish community—in New Jersey, New York, Florida…I am not singling out any specific area, nor referring to any specific couple. However, the epidemic that I am referring to is the epidemic of divorce. You hear about one couple and then another couple and sometimes you even hear about the member of one couple dating a member of the other couple. It all becomes very People Magazine. A lot of, “Did you hear? What do you know? Did you think this would happen?” When I hear about all of these divorces, I sometimes pat myself on the back that I am still married. Yes, I know that I refer to my spouse as “husband #1,” but just because I call him that, it doesn’t mean that I am looking for husband #2. I am not. Nor do I want to. Taking care of one husband is more than enough for me. But when you hear about all of these couples that get divorced, of course you are going to ask, “Why?” There are the top reasons—adultery and abuse— but what about all of those secondary reasons. The “I think I can be happier.” The “We became roommates.” The “He is the biggest moron in the whole world.” We all have different thresholds of what we can tolerate in our relationships, and if the consequences outweigh the benefits…But the bottom line is that there are three sides to every story and no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
In any event, those are the two suggested topics for this week. Clothing to protect the elderly and divorce. I guess if those clothes with the bubble wrap really come to fruition and you are considering divorce, you might not want to put your spouse in something that would protect him from a fall…But, again, everyone’s threshold is different.
And as the Chanukah season rapidly approaches, may your presents be good ones, but may your presence always be meaningful.
By Banji Latkin Ganchrow
Banji Ganchrow is looking forward to all of the Chanukah presents that she isn’t going to get, but is looking forward to all of the donuts that she is going to eat.
