The grown children of an alter yid, an elderly man, came together for the departing of their beloved father. As they gathered around the patriarch of the family and prepared for his transition, they began to intone the traditional vidui, teshuva prayer, and the Shema. Turning to his children, the man mustered his strength for a final request: “Mine teireh kinder, my sweetest children, please, before I leave this world, run to your mother and bring me one last piece of Mommy’s delicious kokosh cake…it’s my favorite.” The children rushed to fulfill their father’s final request. After what seemed to be an eternity, they sheepishly returned—without the cake.
“Dear children… where is the kokosh?”
“We are so sorry, Tatteh… Mom said she is saving the cake for after the funeral…”
רְאֵה אָנֹכִי נֹתֵן לִפְנֵיכֶם הַיּוֹם בְּרָכָה וּקְלָלָה׃
“Re’eh, behold, I set before you ha-yom, today, a blessing and a curse. The blessing is if you will heed the commandments of Hashem your God which I command you ha-yom, today. And the curse is if you do not obey the commandments of Hashem your God, but turn away from the derech that I enjoin upon you ha-yom, today, and follow other gods, whom you have not known.” (Devarim, 11:26–28)
The directive in our sedra is simple and clear. We are empowered to choose to make the most of our lives, to determine our fate and create the reality in which we desire to live. The responsibility is ours, and we have the choice to embrace a derech of blessing and revealed good, or the opposite. We are the masters of our own fate, and the Torah places directly upon us the ultimate accountability for the life we lead.
This Shabbos is Rosh Chodesh Elul; preparation for the High Holiday season is upon us and our focus is turned sharply toward self-improvement, growth and teshuva. Chazal teach us that whenever the Torah uses the term v’atah, and now, it implies the possibility and opportunity for spiritual realignment and a new beginning: “אֵין וְעַתָּה אֶלָּא תְּשׁוּבָה, There is no mention of v’atah that does not refer to teshuva.” A prime example is the verse,”וְעַתָּה יִשְׂרָאֵל מָה ה’ אֱלֹקיךָ שֹׁאֵל מֵעִמָּךְ, V’atah, and now, Yisrael, what does Hashem require of you…?” This becomes, teshuva is what Hashem requires of you, here and now….’ (Midrash Rabbah Bereishis, 21:6)
Today, meaning now, is synonymous with teshuva.
Once, Reb Nosson of Breslov overheard Rabbeinu, Rebbe Nachman, zy’a, repeating the Mishna, “Make teshuva one day before your death,” (Avos, 2:10) stressing over and over the phrase “yom echad, one day!” Reb Nosson explained Rabbeinu’s intention: doing teshuva even one day, any day before we leave this world is of the utmost significance.
So many of us give up on the positive impulse to do teshuva. It is as if we are prevented from doing so by our baggage from the day before and our doubts about the day to come. We are haunted by our past and anxious of what the future holds. We think that our past mistakes hold us back from holiness, and as a result, our future seems fraught with potential failures. We might also think, “What good is it if I do teshuva now, since I will probably just go back to my old ways later?” This causes us to procrastinate.
Rebbe Nachman therefore implores us: “Don’t worry about the future, just seize the moment and do teshuva, turn back toward Hashem for even just one day, while you are alive.” And which day is best? This one, this present day, starting with this present moment.
Rebbe Nachman says: “It is an important rule in avodas Hashem to focus only on today. One should not think today about tomorrow …לֹא יָשִׂים לְנֶגֶד עֵינָיו כִּי אִם אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם וְאוֹתוֹ הַשָּׁעָה, one should not place before his eyes anything but that day and that moment.” Sometimes the world of avodas Hashem can seem overwhelming, heavy or even burdensome. However, when a person considers that he has only “this day,” he will find it no burden at all.
In our pursuit of teshuva and healing and restoration of our relationship with Hashem, Rebbe Nachman’s advice is clear. We ought to immediately attach an action-point to our inspiration…
שֶׁלֹּא יִדְחֶה אֶת עַצְמוֹ מִיּוֹם לְיוֹם, לֵאמֹר: מָחָר אַתְחִיל, מָחָר אֶתְפַּלֵּל בְּכַוָּנָה וּבְכֹחַ כָּרָאוּי, וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה בִּשְׁאָר הָעֲבוֹדוֹת, כִּי אֵין לְאָדָם בְּעוֹלָמוֹ כִּי אִם אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם וְאוֹתוֹ הַשָּׁעָה שֶׁעוֹמֵד בּוֹ, כִּי יוֹם הַמָּחֳרָת הוּא עוֹלָם אַחֵר לְגַמְרֵי.
“A person should not procrastinate from one day to the next, saying, ‘I’ll start tomorrow; tomorrow I’ll pray more attentively, and with proper enthusiasm,’ and likewise for other devotions. For a person’s world consists only of the present day and moment. Tomorrow is a different world entirely.” (Likutei Moharan, 272)
Our sedra urges us to seize the day, to savor every moment we are alive and appreciate the opportunity we have before us: Don’t save the kokosh cake for later. Return to Hashem in teshuva, now.
Rav Judah Mischel is executive director of Camp HASC, the Hebrew Academy for Special Children. He is the mashpiah of OU-NCSY, founder of Tzama Nafshi and the author of “Baderech: Along the Path of Teshuva.” Rav Judah lives in Ramat Beit Shemesh with his wife Ora and their family.
