It is the custom within the community of Klal Yisroel to light a yahrzeit candle on the day that a relative has passed away. This article will discuss the reasons for it, but first, we will discuss why there is no tefillah for lighting this candle.

The lighting of this candle has no accompanying blessing, and I am sure that many people find themselves looking for something appropriate, some way to express themselves in prayer when lighting the candle. This is not only true on a yahrzeit but whenever Yom Tov comes as well and Yizkor is said.

The author of the Peleh Yoetz, Rabbi Eliezer Papo (1785–1828), did, in fact, compose such a prayer. Rav Papo was the rabbi of the city of Selestria in Bulgaria, which was part of the Ottoman Empire at the time. The tefillah of the Peleh Yoetz is reproduced in Hebrew and translated below, as a public service:

הריני מדליק נר זה למנוחת ולעילוי נשמת אבי מורי (אמי מורתי) ____ בן ____

תפילה הנמצאת בספר אלף המגן  מבעל הפלא יועץ על פרשת ויצא עמוד כ”ד

יהי רצון מלפניך ה’ אלקינו ואלקי אבותינו, שתקבל ברחמים וברצון כל מעשה הטוב שאני עושה, בין במחשבה, בין בדיבור, בין במעשה ויהיה הכל לזכות ולמנוחת ולעילוי לנשמות עמך ישראל, ובפרט לנפש רוח של (אמי/אבי/נפטר) _____.  יהי רצון שתהיינה נפשותיהם צרורות בצרור החיים.

Behold I am lighting this lamp for the rest and uplifting of the soul of my deceased father (or mother), my teacher, _______, the son (or daughter) of _______.

May it be Your will before you, Hashem our God and the God of our forefathers, that all my good deeds whether in thought, speech or action be done for a merit and a resting and an elevation of the souls of your nation Israel. It should be especially for the soul of my deceased mother/father/, _____. May it be Your will that their souls be bound in the bond of life.

The Reasons

Please note that much of the information below is found in Rav Aharon Levine’s wonderful sefer called “Kol Bo L’Yartzeit”(vol. I ch.. 1).

• It is a fulfillment of the mitzvah of V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha. Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sher, zt”l in his “Leket Sichos Mussar” (p 329), cites three sources for the application of this mitzvah to parents. The Zohar (Raya Mehemnusa Dvarim, p. 281a) writes that we are obligated to love our parents as we do ourselves for their love is equated to the love of Hashem. The Sefer Chareidim 9:37 writes that loving them is part of the mitzvah of honoring them. The Chayei Odom 67:1 also writes that we are obligated to love them.This matter is of some debate, however, as the Maharal in his Chidushei Agados 31a, seems to be of the opinion that there is no greater obligation to love parents more than to love other Jews.
• It is a fulfillment of Kibud Av V’aim. The Gemara in Kiddushin 31b explains that the rabbis taught: “You honor him in his lifetime and you honor him after death.” Both Dayan Weiss (Minchas Yitzchok Vol. III #136:9) and the Tzitz Eliezer (Vol XII 59:3) are of the opinion that Kibud Av V’Aim after death is also of biblical origin
• It is an obligation of Hakaras HaTov — recognizing the good that one has received from another. It is particularly true that we should recognize all our parents have done for us on a day that we have the ability to give merit to their neshama and assist in their receiving greater reward.
• It brings a kapparah, an atonement, for the neshamos. The Arizal in his Shaar HaKavanos writes that the neshama’s record is reviewed on the day of the yarhrzeit. Thus when the children of the deceased do maasim tovim (good deeds), learn Torah, say kaddish and do other mitzvos; this atones for anything the neshamah might have done wrong.
• It brings an elevation for the neshama. Even if the neshama was free of sin, there are different aspects of performances of mitzvos that are taken into account when the neshama reaches the upper realms. Observance of the yahrtzeit assists in elevating the neshama [See Panim Yafos on B’haaloscha, “Kach es hal’viim”].
• It is a fulfillment of hashavas aveida. The Gemara in Sanhedrin explains that saving a life is a fulfillment of returning a lost object. Certainly this would be so in regard to restoring the soul to a loftier level.
• It avoids violating “Lo Saamod al Dam Rayacha.” The Torah tells us not to stand idly by one’s brother’s blood. If we just ignore an opportunity to place a parent on a higher spiritual level—this is tantamount to standing idly by another’s blood.
• It is the fulfillment of the obligation to perform chesed. The greatest chesed is the one that is done to someone who cannot return the favor. Those that are the shochnei afar (asleep in the dust) cannot repay anyone. Observing a yahrzeit is thus one of the greatest chasadim.
• It counteracts the Raya Mazlei of the neshama. When a neshama ultimately passes away, there is a Raya Mazlei aspect to him. Although we say “Ain mazal l’yisroel (the Jewish people are not controlled by mazal),” at times there are elements that affect the mazal too, according to some Rishonim. Observing the yahrzeit through an act of free choice of the deceased’s descendents counters that force.
• It is proper to be pained on that day. This is the day that we have lost a parent. It is wrong not to feel pain on that day.
• It commemorates the day of one’s loss. Only when we truly know the pain of losing something do we truly appreciate the value of what we have. We can appreciate the gifts that Hashem has given us when we commemorate and understand the loss.
• It affords one to empathize with the pain of the parent. Empathy is a very human characteristic that Hashem wants us to develop. On the day of the yahrzeit, we are empathizing with them.
• It strengthens our belief in Tchiyas HaMeisim. One of the pillars of Torah true Judaism is the eventual restoration of the dead. Also, if we ponder the gift of the yearly seasons, we see how things that wither away eventually come back. This helps us in our belief in Techias HaMeisim. The same is true with a yahrzeit —it helps entrench within us the fundamentals of our emunah.

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