We’ve all had the feeling of having our breath taken away by the sight of the vast night sky or the sound of intensely beautiful music. Those “wow” moments are more than just emotionally enchanting, they are the essence of chinuch. חינוך means to prepare something for its intended purpose, and wonder prepares us in a profound way to meaningfully learn and live the Torah. Research shows that the experience of wonder shapes the way we see and learn about the world and how we connect to God and other people. In this article we will explore the sense of wonder and how it enriches spirituality and avodas Hashem, and we will learn how parents and educators can cultivate this essential sense in children. Along the way we will also discover why Purim is a propitious time for us to stimulate our own sense of wonder.
The Wonders of Wonder
Wonder includes a constellation of experiences. It’s the feelings of confusion, curiosity and joy we feel when we perceive something fresh, unexpected or fascinating. It’s the amazement and reverence we feel when experiencing something intensely real, powerful or beautiful. Wonder can also include deep feelings of joy, love, awe and connection. We can find wonder both in the big moments of awesome revelation and in the little moments when we are overwhelmed by the beauty of a flower. Wonder experiences enable us to viscerally sense that there’s more going on than what we see with our eyes and to be open to unseen causes, like Hashem’s hand in nature. The sense of wonder also brings us out of our individual selves and allows us to feel empathy toward other people and connected to Hashem. In addition, the combination of interest and joy that are part of the feeling of wonder foster intrinsic motivation to learn.
Children are particularly open to experiencing wonder. In their fresh eyes the world is abound with novel and unexpected experiences that elicit the “astonishment mingled with perplexity or bewildered curiosity” that the Oxford English Dictionary writes as the definition of wonder. The experience of wonder is both non-rational and above the rational. It is a kind of direct knowing that is accessible to children because it is so simple that it does not even need words, but is also so deep that it is above words. Before a child can even understand בראשית ברא אלקים they can look up at the sky in awe and sense the hand of the Creator. As children begin to reach adolescence and move past concrete ways of thinking, the sense of wonder allows them to develop a more abstract conception of reality that recognizes more abstract connections between events and objects that might give them purpose or meaning.
לֹא נִתְנָה תוֹרה אֶלָא לְאוֹכְלֵי הַמָן
A child’s experiences of wonder prepare them, are מחנך them, to learn and internalize the Torah. Chazal even suggest that a person whose mind and spirit have not been shaped by wonder is less fit to receive the Torah from Hashem. The (מכילתא (בשלח יז writes לֹא נִתְנָה תוֹרה אֶלָא לְאוֹכְלֵי הַמָן, the Torah has only been given to the eaters of the manna. The manna was novel and perplexing. It was physical matter that the Jews collected from the ground, but it came directly from above and nourished them in a completely spiritual way. The מָן so mystified the Jews that they named it “What is this?” as the Torah explains, “שמות טז:טו) ”,כִּי לֹא יָדְעוּ מַה הוּא). It was literally wonder bread. The midrash means that Hashem wanted to give the Torah to people who would see that it is so much deeper than just the letters on the parchment, who would look up from their learning to see Hashem’s revelation throughout His creation, who would be so moved by each word they learned that they would thirst for more. The only way for us to be such people is by cultivating—both as children and as adults—a “child mind,” the mind of an אוֹכֵל הַמָן that is לֹא יָדַע, a mind that wonders.
The Wonder of Purim
Another more homiletic way to understand the same midrash is that לֹא נִתְנָה תוֹרה אֶלָא לְאוֹכְלֵי הַמָן is not referring to the manna at all, but to the destroyers of המן הרשע. Rav Yitzchak Hutner, זצ“ל, writes that Amalek represented ליצנות, cynical irreverence. To Amalek, this world holds nothing greater or more meaningful than what we see with our own eyes. Even the most magnificent moment would leave Amalek unmoved. By bringing about Haman’s downfall through seemingly random, disconnected events, Hashem helped us to look beyond the mask of natural cause and effect and see the miracle it concealed. The victory we celebrate on Purim is therefore not only our physical salvation from Haman and his plan, but also our spiritual triumph over Amalek. The hidden miracle of Purim awoke in us a renewed sense of wonder that brought us back to the mindset of “כִּי לֹא יָדְעוּ מַה הוּא.” This wondrous revelation gave the Jews such a fresh way of looking at the world that they accepted the entire Torah anew as אוֹכְלֵי הַמָן in both senses. Each year, as we contemplate the hidden miracles of the megillah, we have a special ability to stop thinking that we’ve seen it all and nothing can impress us and to look at the world like a Jew first looking at the manna, mystified “because he didn’t know” what it was. On Purim we build our sense of wonder “ad d’lo yada.”
How I Wonder
There are many things we can do to help cultivate the sense of wonder in our children.
Notice the Small Things. Slow down with your child and take the time to really pay attention to things we often overlook, like the moving of the clouds, the squirrel that you see out your window every day. Even trying to find three things about a room in your house that you’ve never noticed before will help prime you and your child to notice more in the future.
Model Wonder. Show your own sense of amazement for even the smallest wonders. Talk to your children or students about astonishing things you see and learn, and ask them to share the same with you. Wonder out loud yourself (e.g., “I wonder how long it took for that tree to grow that high.” “I wonder what it was like to see Kriyas Yam Suf”) and ask your children what they wonder about.
Learn Side by Side. It’s tempting to always feel like you need to know the answers, but it is much more valuable to show a child that not knowing is an exciting opportunity to learn and discover. Teaching your children how to look for information will allow them to follow their curiosity on their own.
Expose Them to Wonder. Take your children out into nature. Watch the night sky away from city lights or hike to see a waterfall. Get them out of their routine and comfort zone to something new and eye-opening. It can be going to a museum, a concert or the zoo, exploring a new part of the city, or visiting historical sites or sports stadiums. Read awe-inspiring books together, like biographies of great people or fantasy. Play them music or show them art that moves you and tell them why.
Conclusion
Wonder is an emotion that is essential to chinuch. If we want our children to able to continually accept and apply the Torah, we must foster their natural sense of wonder. Even as they grow older we must continue to cultivate their “child minds.” Even as they grow wiser, we must continue to cultivate their sense of דלא ידע, like the אוכלי המן of both the desert and Shushan. The late ecologist Rachel Carson wrote, “A child’s world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood.” However, with their parents and teachers, children can preserve and strengthen their sense of wonder in ways that will enrich their lives and their Torah and mitzvos.
By Rabbi Bin Goldman, PsyD
Rabbi Bin Goldman, PsyD, is the Director of Psychology & Guidance at RYNJ. He is clinical psychologist with offices in Teaneck and on the Upper West Side. He is also Visiting Scholar and Clinical Psychology Supervisor at Teachers College at Columbia University.
