ארוסין: This word has its origin in Tanach, where it is always spelled with a “sin.” E.g., ארשׂ (Deuteronomy 20:7). Many words were spelled with a “sin” in Tanach and then became a “samech” in later Hebrew. (Another example is סוטה. See Numbers, chapter 5, for the earlier שׂ spelling.) So, our issue is the meaning of the root ארשׂ.
I have to point out that “shin,” “sin” and “samech” are fundamentally different letters. So, ordinarily scholars would prefer to solve these etymological issues without postulating switches between them.
The most likely explanation here does rely on a switch. Akkadian (the language of Assyria and Babylonia) has a verb “ereshu” that means “to desire.” We even have this root in Tanach at Psalms 21:3: “va-areshet sefatav.” (We know this expression from the Rosh Hashanah musaf: “areshet sefateinu.”) The “desire” meaning of “areshet” is confirmed by the parallel phrase in the earlier part of the verse: “taavat libo.”
Most likely “desire” is the meaning of our ארשׂ root. See, e.g., Ernest Klein’s etymological work, page 57. Perhaps, the original Hebrew word had a “shin” like the Akkadian. Or, perhaps, the Akkadian word initially had a “sin.”
Artscroll’s Sefer Tehillim (Tanach series) translated the “areshet” of Psalms 21:3 as “utterance” (consistent with most Rishonim). Their commentary added: “This ‘utterance’ expresses a deep wish or desire. The word may be related to “erusin,” the initial act of marriage.” So, this work came to the correct conclusion of the meaning of “areshet,”—not by looking at its parallel (“taavat libo”) and not through the use of Akkadian—but, by suggesting a similarity to “erusin,” even though the root of this word is ארשׂ, not ארשׁ.
Some of the other explanations suggested for ארשׂ are: a connection to אסר meaning “tied together,” and a connection to אריס—a word in Aramaic for a “tenant farmer,” one who pays a price and gives himself the right to farm land and is entering a type of partnership with the landowner. Another source suggests a connection to ארז with the meaning “firm.” A connection to ערשׂ meaning “bed” has also been suggested! For some of these suggestions, see the Brown-Driver-Briggs lexicon, the concordance of Salomon Mandelkern and Rav Aryeh Kaplan, “Made in Heaven,” pages 134-35. (Our word has no connection to the Greek word “eros.”)
Another word for the “erusin” stage is “kiddushin.” An issue that I am not going to deal with is, what is the meaning of the root קדשׁ in this word? One suggestion is at Tosfos Kiddushin 2b: מיוחדת. Rav Kaplan (page 173) writes: “sanctification or consecration.”
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חפה: There are two related biblical roots that mean “cover:” חפה and חפף. For whatever reason, both Brown-Driver-Briggs and Mandelkern place our word in the root חפף. In his entry חפף, Mandelkern lists Deuteronomy 33:12 (חפף, blessing of Benjamin), Isaiah: 4:5 (חפה as a covering, but not in a marital context), and two verses which are associated with marriage: 1) Joel 2:16: “Let the chatan go forth ‘mei-chedro’ and the bride ‘mei-chupatah’” and 2) Psalms 19:6 (referring to the sun): “It is like a chatan coming out of chupato.”
These last two verses are too short to understand precisely what type of room or covering is being referred to. But, they certainly do not mean what we use today. Here is Daat Mikra on the Psalms verse: First, it suggests a context: after “leil kelulotav” (his first night with the kallah), with his face glowing from “osher” and “simcha.” Then, it suggests that the chuppah is either: “ha-ohel,” “he-yeriah” or “ha-cheder,” where the chatan and kallah spent their time alone. (By “ha-yeriah,” perhaps what is meant is “curtained-off area.”)
At Joel 2:16, the “chuppah” is parallel to “cheder,” suggesting that it is a type of room.
What we do today—velvet or cloth held up by four poles—did not start until 16th century Poland. Later, it spread to Germany and, eventually, to Sephardic communities. See Rav Kaplan, page 143. Rav Kaplan writes (page 142): “When the bride and groom stand under the cloth chuppah, it is equivalent to the groom placing a ‘garment’ over the bride. Thus, the chuppah held up by poles fulfills both functions: it is symbolic both as a house and as a garment.” On a previous page, he had explained that one view of chuppah in halacha is that a husband should perform one of his husbandly duties towards the bride, and “clothing” her is one of them.
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Another word that Brown-Driver-Briggs and Mandelkern list in their חפף entry is חוף means coast. It is called this because the coast surrounds the land. Among the entries in the חפה entry are Esther 6:12 and 7:8, both of which refer to Haman’s head being covered.
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נשׂואין: In the Torah and the earlier books of Nach, the verb לקח is usually the one that is used as the verb for marriage. In the later books of Tanach, it is usually a word from the verb נשׂא that is used.
For decades, I wondered why the verb נשׂא would be used as a term for marriage. Could it mean that the man was raising the spiritual level of his wife or the lives of the two of them? Was he raising her status? Was there some kind of physical raising involved in the ancient marriage ceremony? I, finally, decided to look into it. It turns out that the explanation is a very mundane one. נשא does not only mean “raise.” It also means “carry away.” (Raising something is the first step in carrying it away.) Most likely, “carry away” is the meaning of נשא that is being used in the marriage context, very close to the meaning of לקח.
פילגשׁ : The origin of this word continues to confound the scholars. Ernest Klein, page 505, cites a similar sounding Aramaic word, Syriac word, Greek word and Avestic word and concludes: “All these words are certainly related, but it is difficult to establish the degree of their relationship to one another.” Similarly, the essay in Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament has: “We can give no satisfactory explanation for (its origin).” It, then, cites a similar sounding Greek word, Latin word, Aramaic word, Syriac word and Arabic word. It continues: “Scholars have sought its home in both the Semitic and the Indo-European language families and have put forward many conjectures about mutual influence.”
שׁדך: In Aramaic, this word had the meaning to “negotiate.” But it, originally, meant: “to soothe, pacify or appease.” See Ernest Klein, page 641, and Jastrow, page 1525. This is, of course, interesting, as today the thought of entering into the “shidduch” stage of life is for most people a tremendously anxiety-provoking one.
Badeken: We all think this word is related to בדק meaning inspect and the story of Yaakov’s marriage. But, I learned a surprisingly different answer from the post “badeken,” at balashon.com on 8/12/19. “Badeken” derives from the German “bedecken” meaning “to cover.” At the badeken, a veil is placed over the bride’s face. (For more on this custom, see Rav Kaplan, pages 124-27.) The German word “bedecken” is related to the English word “thatch,” which refers to the covering of a house. It is also related to the word “deck.” The noun “deck” originally referred to the covering of a boat. The verb “deck” means: “to adorn with something ornamental,” as in “deck the halls.”
Mitchell First can be reached at [email protected]. He “carried away” (נשׂא) his wife, Sharon, in 1987.
