לֹא תִשְׂנָא אֶת אָחִיךָ בִּלְבָבֶךָ הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא:
(ויקרא יט:יז)
“You should not hate your brother in your heart, you should repeatedly rebuke (hochiach tochiach) your neighbor and like this you will not sin because of him,” (Vayikra 19:17).
Chazal explain that the double wording of rebuke (hochiach tochiach) teaches us that if a person rebukes his neighbor and the neighbor doesn’t change and improve his actions, then he is required to rebuke him again and again (even 100 times) until his neighbor finally changes.
Zera Shimshon gives two other explanations: The first one is that teshuva is a gradual process. It is rare that one is reprimanded once and immediately changes their ways. Instead, the first instance of hearing that one is doing something wrong evokes feelings of remorse. Only after one feels bad in their heart, does further criticism possess the power to elicit real change.
Therefore, the purpose of the dual expression of “hochiach tochiach” is to encourage individuals to avoid despondency or agitation in the event that—after reprimanding someone for a misdeed committed—no immediate improvement is observed. Rather than giving up or becoming angry, one should recognize that change is a gradual process and exercise patience both towards yourself and towards your friend—while awaiting the desired transformation.
The second explanation is that halachic tochacha, rebuke, is only considered valid if it is appreciated by the recipient. If not, it can be perceived as belittling or demeaning rather than the halachic tochacha. Therefore, it is necessary to ensure that the recipient of the rebuke does not harbor ill feelings towards the person offering the criticism.
The Gemara (Arachin 16b) tells the story of Rabbi Yochannan Ben Nuri, who reported Rabbi Akiva’s misdeeds to Rabban Gamliel, their rebbe. As a result, Rabbi Akiva was frequently reprimanded and punished by Rabban Gamliel. Rabbi Yochanan Ben Nuri said that this did not create any animosity between Rabbi Yochannan Ben Nuri and Rabbi Akiva. Instead, it strengthened the love between them. This story illustrates that the true indication of rebuke is not only when the person being corrected does not harbor ill feelings towards the individual offering the rebuke, but rather, it even increases the love between them.
Zera Shimshon explains that according to this the double wording of “hochiach tochiach” represents two stages in rebuking. Firstly, rebuke someone once and observe whether the recipient appreciates the criticism and shows increased love towards the person who offered the rebuke or not. Only then—even if there was no change—since this was a halachic rebuke, should one proceed to offer further rebuke which will eventually lead to change.
However, if the recipient does not appreciate the criticism, not only is the person exempt from rebuking further, but they should refrain from doing so—as learned from the Gemara (Yevamos 65b). Just as there is a mitzvah to say something that will be heard; so too, is there a mitzvah to refrain from saying something that will not be heard.
To summarize: there is a mitzvah in the Torah of “tochacha,” to rebuke someone who is about to transgress a mitzvah. Interestingly, the Torah employs a double expression of the word “tochiach” when discussing this mitzvah. Chazal asks why the Torah chooses to use this double expression and what it signifies. Chazal answers that it teaches us that if a person rebukes his neighbor and the neighbor doesn’t change and improve his actions, then he is required to rebuke him again and again (even 100 times), until his neighbor finally changes.
Zera Shimshon offers two additional explanations for the Torah’s use of the double expression of “tochiach.” The first explanation is that teshuva—or repentance—is a gradual process, and people do not typically change their behavior immediately. Thus, the double expression serves to remind individuals that for their rebuke to be effective, it will often require multiple attempts. As such, they should not become frustrated with themselves or with the person being rebuked. The second explanation for the use of the dual expression “tochacha” is that for rebuke to be valid, the person receiving the criticism must appreciate it and it should increase the love and affection between the two. Otherwise, it is considered simply belittling or demeaning speech. Thus, the Torah employs the double expression to convey the message that one should first rebuke and then verify if there is an increase in love between the parties. If there is, one should continue to rebuke until the desired transformation is achieved.
HaRav Shimshon Nachmani—author of Zera Shimshon—lived in Italy, about 300 years ago, in the time of the Or HaChaim HaKodesh. The Chida writes that he was a great mekubal and wrote many sefarim—including sefarim about “practical Kabbalah”—and asked that all of his sefarim be buried after he passes away, except for Zera Shimshon and Niflaos Shimshon on Avos. HaRav Shimshon Nachmani had one child who died in his lifetime (hence the name “Zera Shimshon”) and in the preface, he promises for people who learn his sefarim after he dies, “… And your eyes will see children and grandchildren like the offshoots of an olive tree around your tables, wise and understanding, with houses filled with all manner of good things … and wealth and honor … ”
