וַיָּבֹא יִתְרוֹ חֹתֵן מֹשֶׁה וּבָנָיו וְאִשְׁתּוֹ אֶל־מֹשֶׁה אֶל־הַמִּדְבָּר אֲשֶׁר־הוּא חֹנֶה שָׁם הַר הָאֱלֹקים׃ וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל־מֹשֶׁה אֲנִי חֹתֶנְךָ יִתְרוֹ בָּא אֵלֶיךָ וְאִשְׁתְּךָ וּשְׁנֵי בָנֶיהָ עִמָּה
(שמות י”ח:ה-ו)
“Yisro, Moshe’s father-in-law, brought Moshe’s wife and two children to him in the wilderness, where Bnei Yisroel were encamped at the mountain of Elokim. Yisro sent word to Moshe, ‘I, your father-in-law, Yisro, am coming to you, and your wife and her two sons,’” (Shemos 18,5-6).
Rashi explains the second pasuk: “‘I, your father-in-law, Yisro … ’ etc.: “Even if you feel that I am undeserving for you to come and greet me, you should greet us because of your wife. If you believe that your wife is also not worthy, then you should come and greet us in the merit of your two children.””
Zera Shimshon asks why Yisro would perceive himself as less deserving of Moshe’s greeting than Tziporah, his daughter. What perceived deficiency did Yisro identify in himself to justify Moshe’s apparent indifference? Furthermore, what perceived flaw did Yisro attribute to Tziporah, leading him to think Moshe might not welcome her and that he should greet them only because of his children?
Zera Shimshon explains that Yisro most likely did not harbor any doubts about Moshe greeting him due to a perceived lack of importance. Respecting one’s father-in-law is a fundamental aspect of derech eretz, regardless of status. Yisro, however, speculated that Moshe might have reservations about him becoming a ger (convert), suspecting ulterior motives.
His concern wasn’t at all groundless or farfetched. It is written in the Gemara in Yevamos 24b, that converts were not accepted in the time of Dovid and Shlomo, and they will not be accepted in the times of Mashiach. This halacha stems from the need for conversions to be solely for spiritual reasons, l’shem shamayim, without any secondary motives. In times of prosperity for klal Yisroel, there’s a worry that individuals might seek conversion to share in this success rather than to grow closer to Hashem. It’s akin to a person demanding to be accepted to volunteer at a charity event, although it is obvious to all that he only did it to be photographed and gain publicity for himself—rather than to genuinely help those in need. He, for sure, will not be accepted.
Zera Shimshon—citing a midrash—asserts that Yisro’s motives were, indeed, genuinely pure. Despite the Gemara’s ruling that conversions during prosperous times are generally not accepted, Tosfos points out that this isn’t an absolute rule and exceptions exist. For example, a prospective convert of royal descent or one who displays genuine sincerity may be accepted. Yisro—aware of his own sincerity—still worried that Moshe might question it, especially since Yisro came to Bnei Yisroel after witnessing the miracles in Mitzrayim, at the Yam Suf, and the manna. Yisro’s awareness of the benefits of joining Bnei Yisroel raised concerns that Moshe might misinterpret his motives and, as a result, avoid greeting him.
Yisro, therefore, suggested that even if Moshe doubted his sincerity, and would not greet him, he should still greet them for Tzipora’s sake. Tzipora had converted in Midyan when she married Moshe—a time when Bnei Yisroel were still being oppressed in Mitzrayim—underlining her pure intentions.
Yisro’s worry about Moshe not greeting Tzipora—but only for the sake of his children—had another dimension. According to an opinion in the Mechilta, Moshe had divorced Tzipora before returning to Mitzrayim to lead Bnei Yisroel. They were divorced at that time (though they later remarried, as noted in parshas Behaalosecha), which could make it inappropriate for Moshe to greet her. Therefore, Yisro suggested Moshe greet them because of his two children. Since their mother converted during Bnei Yisroel’s suffering in Mitzrayim, their conversion was undoubtedly sincere and, obviously, even if Moshe and Tziporah were not married, the children were still his.
Zera Shimshon gives another fascinating explanation based on the writings of the Arizal, but first some background.
Rashi in Chumash (Bereishis 4:1) quotes the midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 22:2-3) that in the beginning of mankind, Chava gave birth not only to Kayin and Hevel, but Kayin had a twin sister and Hevel had two twin sisters.
It is written in the midrash that there was an argument between Kayin and Hevel who had the right to marry the extra girl. Kayin claimed that he had the right to marry her because he was the firstborn and the firstborn gets double the inheritance. Hevel counter argued that since she was born with him, he has the right to marry her. This argument was so heated that Kayin ended up killing Hevel!
It is written in the writings of the Arizal that Moshe was the gilgul of Hevel, Yisro was the gilgul of Kayin and Tzipora was the gilgul of the second girl born with Hevel—about whom Kayin and Hevel argued.
After Kayin killed Hevel, Hashem exiled him and from Rashi, it seems the reason for this was because Hashem judged him as if he killed by shogeig (accident).
It is written in Meseches Makkos that a person who killed by shogeig and takes refuge in an ir miklat and the Rambam writes: “Although the killer has gained atonement, he should never return to a position of authority that he previously held. Instead, he should be diminished in stature for his entire life, because of this great calamity he caused.” Zera Shimshon infers from the last phrase, “because of this great calamity he caused,” that not only one that kills someone cannot return to “his position of authority” but even one that only caused someone else to be killed.
Drawing from the above sources, Zera Shimshon explains that Yisro’s concern that Moshe might not show him honor and greet him stemmed from Yisro’s past life as Kayin, who killed Hevel by accident and, therefore, was required to go to a ir miklat which disqualified him from receiving honor. Therefore, Yisro proposed that even if he himself might not merit respect, Moshe should still greet them, honoring Tzipora.
Yet, there was an additional worry regarding Tzipora, who was Hevel’s second triplet. The concern was that she should not be honored because the initial dispute leading to Hevel’s death was linked to her, and the Rambam implies that one who even, indirectly, causes a death may not return to their former stature of honor.
Therefore, Yisro proposed to Moshe: even if he felt hesitant to greet both Yisro and Tzipora, he should still do so for the sake of their children, who were free from these complex past-life associations.
Although only talmidei chachamim of great stature—like the Arizal—can pinpoint the exact gilgulim of individuals, there’s still a practical aspect to recognizing that we are gilgulim and that this can influence the events in our lives. I’m not referring only to significant life events, such as seemingly random marriages between people from different countries, arranged through unexpected acquaintances. Post-marriage, why Hashem orchestrates it becomes crystal clear.
I’m referring to everyday occurrences as well, like randomly speaking to a stranger after davening—who seems a complete incompatible chavrusa—but ending up learning with him for a few months and both enjoying it tremendously. Or, taking a wrong turn and ending up giving a lift to someone in need. Things that are really trivial, but when one thinks about it, it is, “a veiled mystery” why Hashem made it happen. However, thinking about gilgulim, then these less momentous events, which, initially—seem like mere coincidences—can be understood that it was exactly orchestrated by Hashem as a means of resolving past ties or debts. Simply put, acknowledging gilgulim can help you make sense of events that appear random, arbitrary and haphazard.
