None of us know when we begin the process of having children and developing a family just how successful we will be. We as parents encourage our children to be their individual selves.
As anyone who has multiple children knows, no matter how many children are growing up together in the same home with the same parents, each will turn out to be totally unique.
As our family grew up and lived many miles from any other family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins), it was my goal to instill certain values in our children, and the most important was that they should always remain close to each other. I remember the day when our daughter Chavie, probably at the age of 8, declared that when she got older she would marry and live one street away from her parents, Malkie would live on another block close by, and each of her siblings would live nearby as well. What’s the old saying that man plans and God laughs?!
Most important to me was that wherever our children ended up on the roadmap of life they would always stick together and care about each other, no matter the distance. If that happened I would feel that I had successfully accomplished my goal. I had never dreamed that we would end up in Montreal, and certainly had no intention of keeping our children, as they grew older and more independent, from following their individual paths. As many know, our children have followed their own paths of life, each one living a more beautiful life than the next.
They have showered me with love and devotion, but what is much more important for me to share this particular week is how I have observed them to be totally bonded with each other.
In the past six weeks, both Akiva and Leslie and Chavie and Chaim have gone to Montreal to visit Naama. I didn’t ask them to do so. Each couple is equally as excited to spend time with Naama as she is to be with them. It is not easy to take Naama places in Montreal. Unless something is walkable, special transport must be arranged. One day I received a Facetime message from Akiva, and there was Naama sipping a large coffee drink with mounds of whipped cream on top through a straw. It was hard for her to manage her drink and her humongous smile at the same time. They took her to Second Cup for a special treat—fortunately just a few blocks from her wonderful group home.
Yesterday I received another Facetime call from Chavie and Chaim, showing me Naama and Chaim, and immediately I knew they must have taken her to the hotel where they were staying. No it wasn’t Chavie who walked her over to the hotel, it was Chaim, her brother in law, who has treated her as a sister since the day he met her. Chaim decided to surprise Chavie and bring Naama to see where they were staying. That wasn’t enough, they then walked to Pizza Pita for Naama to be treated to whatever she desired. Is there more that I could ever ask for?
A sibling with special needs is a challenge for all family members, but her responsibility is generally that of her parents. In this case, for a very long time, Naama’s siblings have advocated on her behalf and continue to shower her with love and devotion. Is there anything more in life that I could ask for at this moment?
When I see how excited my daughters are to get together and spend “sister time.” When I hear comments that my grandchildren are calling their cousins who live in totally different cities. When I see that two cousins are learning b’chavruta, each attending different yeshivot. Is there anything more that I could want in my life right now (with a major exception)?
I pay tribute to all of my children for their devotion to each other, to me and especially to Naama. My Mordechai, how lucky we are to have accomplished this. Malkie and Baruch, Chavie and Chaim, Akiva and Leslie, Dena and Moshe, you are the best! You have enabled me to be at peace with the knowledge that you will stick together as a family unit, no matter what.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
