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December 11, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

From Exhilaration to Pain to Hope

We all know that life has many bumps over which we have no control. I have learned that some of these bumps have silver linings.

On Sunday evening I attended the Zusha/Yachad Kumzits at Congregation Beth Abraham. The George Weinberger z”l music studio and music appreciation program which takes place on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Yachad enables the members to learn about music and rhythm through the use of many different instruments on which they are able to strum or drum alongside live or recorded music. In conjunction with Zusha, Yachad members were able to compose and create a new song which was played for the first time publicly at the kumzits. The group’s involvement with the Yachad members is beautiful and a joy to see.

I cannot get enough of watching the facial expressions of the Yachad members. I always notice that many nonverbal members have amazing rhythm and their voices and bodies sway with the music. The happiness in the air at the kumzits was contagious. Even if a member was able to lift only his pinky and join the rhythm by swaying, it made his night worthwhile.

I watched parents as they were overjoyed at their children’s participation and at the same time the frustration of some when their child did not want to participate with the others. I understand that difficulty, and feel for them, because no matter what stage your child is at, until a certain point in life many keep hoping that eventually their very special child will be like all of the other children in the group. That hope remains until the realization sets in that their child needs to be totally comfortable in his or her space and it may not necessarily be what you would choose for them. Yet, leave it to the Yachad angels, the young men and women who take time off from their own busy schedules to do everything they can to make the Yachad members as joyful as they can be. It seems that when a parent tries to coax his or her child into dancing with no success it takes only seconds for the angels to appear and grab that child and get them into the center of the circle.

Every time that I attend a Yachad function I wish that there was a way to share the warmth and educational experience with others. Many fall into the trap of expecting so much of their so-called “normal” children, anxiously awaiting their growth and maturity and brilliance. In many cases, realizing that a child is perhaps not as smart as the child who lives next door but is really fine and healthy and doing his best is not enough for anxious parents. If only they would bring themselves to a program such a Yachad and see the smiles on people’s faces when a young man or woman is able to accomplish a small task that we would generally take for granted, and then see the gratitude felt by the families, perhaps they would learn a lesson on just being satisfied with what we have.

Moving on from exhilaration to pain was an experience I had today. From the euphoria of last night I went to visit a woman this afternoon who is a patient in a subacute facility. I had never met her before, but since the majority of her children live out of town it was suggested that she could use some visitors. Here was a woman who had been vibrant and lived a normal life until six weeks ago when she fell and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Since that time she has not awakened, and those standing around her get encouraged every time she moves her lips, almost opens an eye and basically does very little else. There is no recognition of anything. Only six weeks ago one would never have believed her condition today. I arrived home and spent hours thinking about life and how crazy it is. In one room is a group of young adults with special needs, who are limited in many skills, with bright smiles on their faces with their parents frequently wondering why and how. In another place is a woman who has no knowledge of where she is, of her condition nor of the people around her.

Does life make any sense? To me it does not except for my emunah and bitachon. Once again, while we are all living in the misery of what is going on in Israel and the world, we need to also concentrate on the happiness and sadness that surrounds us locally every day. We must “smell the roses” and make the very most of each day as we have no guarantee of what will be tomorrow.

Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].

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