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November 25, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Is Age in the Eye of the Beholder?

I had a rude awakening this morning as I ran into Dunkin’ to get a coffee. A lady was sitting at a high table by herself watching the scene when she suddenly looked at me and said, “You are 70 aren’t you?” I was slightly shocked by her inappropriateness, reminding myself that there are all kinds of people in the world and I said, “Yes, I am 70!” It sort of jolted me into reality. I rarely think about what age I look. I try to dress nicely and appropriately for whatever occasion it may be. I do not put a significant amount of time into making sure that I am in style with everything that I wear. But I do enjoy being complimented if I am looking especially nice (who doesn’t?).

I am me and feel in many ways similar to the ways that I felt before. I am fortunate in that I am able to go places and do things on my own, run around to do chesed, visit my kids and except for the occasional physical ache, feel just as I did before. I am very au courant on the latest news and know that I am able to carry on meaningful conversations with my peers and my grandchildren.

However, I have realized over the past few years that whether or not one feels young does not mean that people will treat you the same way as when you were younger. How many times do I hear my kids say to me, “But, Ma, how many years ago was that?” How often do I feel that my opinion is not really relevant because I am older? After all, what do I know about this day and age?

The answer to all of you who feel that way is to just wait as you age and see if you appreciate comments which insinuate that due to your increasing age you do not have the ability to comprehend things, or that your opinion is irrelevant..

Our society, and I guess country, has a problem with the aging population. Look at how long it took for the president of the United States to forego his next election campaign. In his case, aside from his political views, he obviously is at the beginning of dementia and needed to step down.

The reality that his election prospects were almost nil put the heat on him. From the point of view of a person who is definitely not getting younger, I recently had an experience with a physician friend. I needed someone to deal with a health issue that my daughter in Montreal was facing. As some may know, medical care in Quebec can be similar to the care in any third world country (unless you have great connections, which we are fortunate enough to have).

I called a doctor friend who has seen Naama many times. He is now in his mid-80s. Unfortunately he was unable to deal with the situation as I expected him to. I do not blame him but in a sense I blame our society for making people feel that if they retire from what they have been doing for the past 45-50 years they are ready to go to pasture. There are many things that this very talented physician could do outside of the hospital setting but he is the type of person that I fear will shrivel up and whither if he were not to continue what he is doing presently. Who should tell him that it’s time?

I am very grateful for the fact that I am able to do most things as I did in the past. I often ask for a challenge with my grandchildren in ping pong and after they chuckle they accept. I am still the fun Bubbie who will do all kinds of silly things with the little ones, but guess what? I also have opinions on many subjects that might be helpful in the course of a discussion even though I am relating something that happened several years ago. Just wait, everyone, until it is insinuated that your opinion reeks from suspicion. Remember my words!


Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected] 

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