Yom Kippur is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, a time for deep introspection, repentance and committing to personal transformation. It’s a day to reflect on our past year, acknowledge our mistakes and resolve to make meaningful changes in the year ahead. However, change is often easier said than done. How can we ensure that the resolutions we make during Yom Kippur lead to lasting transformation?
The science and psychology of change provide key insights into how we can make sure the commitments we make stick.
Why Is Change So Difficult?
From a psychological perspective, change is hard because it requires breaking habits, which are deeply ingrained patterns of behavior. Habits develop over time as the brain becomes more efficient, automating repetitive actions so that we can focus on other things. When we attempt to change, we’re asking the brain to interrupt this efficient system and exert more conscious effort—a task that it naturally resists.
Another challenge is that change often triggers uncertainty. The brain craves predictability and stability, and any deviation from the norm can activate stress responses, making it uncomfortable to maintain new behaviors. Furthermore, our identities are closely tied to our actions and habits. Changing a behavior can feel like changing a piece of who we are, which can be an intimidating process.
The Psychology of Commitment: Yom Kippur and Beyond
Yom Kippur serves as a powerful tool for change because it revolves around making sincere, thoughtful commitments based on deep regret and a desire for change. During this day of atonement, individuals undergo a process of reflection, apology and resolution, which creates a mental and emotional readiness to embrace change.
One of the reasons Yom Kippur is so effective for fostering change is the communal nature of the day. Group settings often strengthen individual resolve, as shared experiences and desires reinforce the belief that change is both possible and important. When we make commitments publicly or within a group, we are more likely to follow through, as social accountability plays a key role in driving behavior change. And while most of the commitments we make remain private, we still feel more bound to them because of the setting in which they were made.
The Science of Lasting Change
Understanding the science behind change offers practical strategies for ensuring that it lasts. Here are some key principles:
- Start Small with Incremental Steps
Neuroscience suggests that the brain adapts better to gradual change rather than drastic, sweeping shifts. This is because incremental changes are less likely to trigger the brain’s stress response. For example, if you want to become more patient, instead of vowing to change overnight, focus on a single behavior each day, like concentrating when reciting the bracha of Asher Yatzar.
- Leverage Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to rewire itself based on new experiences and behaviors. With consistent practice, new behaviors can become new habits. The more you repeat an action, the stronger the neural connections related to that behavior become. This is why consistency is essential for making change stick. By staying focused on a narrow range of changes until they “stick,” we have a better chance of experiencing lasting change in those areas.
- Create a Structure of Accountability
Studies show that people are more likely to follow through on their commitments when they have accountability structures in place. Sharing your goals with a friend or joining a community that supports your change can enhance your sense of responsibility. An example of this might be to join a shiur or learning program, a Tehillim group, a chesed project, etc.
- Align Change With Core Values
Long-lasting change happens when new behaviors align with your core values. When you set goals that are deeply connected to what you believe in and who you see yourself as (such as a kind, giving person or someone who values time), your motivation to follow through becomes stronger.
- Use Self-Compassion as a Tool
Change is not linear, and there will inevitably be setbacks. Psychological research supports the idea that self-compassion, rather than self-criticism, is essential when we fail to meet our goals. People who practice self-compassion are more likely to persevere through challenges, as they are less likely to feel overwhelmed by guilt or shame. You will get there, but it may take more time than you thought or not quite be to the level of perfection you were hoping for.
- Visualize the Outcome
Visualization is a powerful technique in both psychology and neuroscience. Mentally rehearsing the changes you wish to make can activate the same neural pathways that are engaged when you perform the behavior. By frequently visualizing the new habits or ways of being, you strengthen your brain’s ability to adopt them.
Making Change Stick After Yom Kippur
After Yom Kippur, the challenge is maintaining the resolve to live differently. Here are some practical strategies for ensuring that the changes you commit to on Yom Kippur endure:
- Revisit Your Commitments Regularly
One way to keep change on track is to set regular reminders to review your goals. Revisiting your Yom Kippur resolutions monthly, for example, can help you stay mindful of the path you’re on.
- Celebrate Small Wins
Breaking large goals into smaller milestones and celebrating those achievements helps sustain motivation. Recognizing even small progress reinforces the neural connections associated with your new habits.
- Practice Gratitude and Reflection
Yom Kippur is a day of reflection, but this practice can continue throughout the year. Set aside time for ongoing reflection to assess your progress and refine your goals. Gratitude for the growth you’ve experienced, no matter how small, can also fuel continued commitment.
- Seek Support From a Community
Whether it’s friends, family or your community, having a support network to share your journey with can keep you grounded and motivated. Communities provide both encouragement and accountability, essential components for lasting change.
Conclusion
Change is both a spiritual and psychological challenge, one that requires commitment, mindfulness and patience. Yom Kippur, with its focus on reflection, repentance and renewal, offers a profound framework for initiating change. By leveraging insights from the science of change, we can turn these spiritual commitments into lasting transformations that carry us through the year and beyond. Through gradual, values-driven and supported efforts, the changes we seek on Yom Kippur can take root and flourish, helping us grow into the best versions of ourselves.
Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is an executive coach and president of Impactful Coaching and Consulting (ImpactfulCoaching.com). He can be reached at 212.470.6139 or at [email protected].
