I sat watching as my grandson Doniel was escorted to bedek his kallah by both his father and his future father-in-law, and I suddenly thought back to that wintry day when I drove to Rochester in the midst of snow and ice filled roads to meet him and care for his six siblings as his mother caught her breath after his birth. This was the pregnancy that his parents were mistakenly told might not be viable. Furor ensued, and phone calls were made in a frenzy trying to find out if there were any possible options for this pregnancy. After weeks of worry and more significant testing it was determined that the baby was developing normally. Not only was he healthy, but he has developed into a young ben Torah, with a charming smile, who is now totally enamored with my newest granddaughter, his wife, Channah Roll.
Every once in a while we need to reflect on the passing of time. How wonderful it was when his parents were able to choose a name for their son without the need to name him after anyone. His bris, his upsherin, his bar mitzvah and each and every one of his birthday parties which we would always try to attend had the underlying fact swimming in our minds. How could anyone live in Rochester, New York and have a boy baby at the end of December? Fortunately for us the government of Quebec by law requires that any car with Quebec license plates must have snow tires installed on their cars from Dec. 1 through March 15. It did not detract from the fright of creeping along an icy highway, but it did give us a small sense of comfort.
All of those years with little Donny tagging along. He watched sadly as each of his siblings flew the coop or in nicer terms pursued their Yeshiva studies in different cities. Fortunately for him both of his sisters were home for a longer time. Did he become spoiled? Did he take advantage? I really do not think so. He seemed to have weathered his “only child” period quite well and eagerly awaited the arrival of each of his siblings when they had their school breaks. Before you knew it he became a brother in law and then an uncle. Sometimes he might have had difficulty in finding his own bedroom as he was often relegated to a different bed or couch in order for the others to be more comfortable. I believe that all of these happenings were much more jarring for us as his young grandparents than it was for him.
This evening I had the opportunity together with two of my daughters to host sheva brachot for Doni and Channah. What made it most special is that all of Doniel’s first cousins were present to rejoice with him and meet his new wife. These “kids,” our grandchildren, are now adults who well remember the times that they played games and cards on our living room floor on their many visits to our home in Canada. The times that they went zip lining, tobogganing, visiting every touristy sight that the city of Montreal had to offer as well as a fun overnight trip to Ottawa during Pesach, all the many adventures and hours which they spent bonding together as close family despite the fact that they lived in different cities. I looked at this beautiful group of young adults, some of them now parents themselves, and felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment and gratitude.
In the midst of this evening’s celebration a facetime telephone conversation came in with “Auntie Naama” calling from her group home in Montreal. Each and every one of them took the time to talk with Naama individually, signifying another great accomplishment of our family. Their total acceptance of having a disabled aunt who was always treated with utmost respect and love by their parents has become an intrinsic part of their lives. She has always been Auntie Naama who happens not to walk, hardly talks and loves when they act goofy and silly since they were little to encourage her to laugh and be happy. What more can I as a parent ask for?
The moments are flying by and I realize that there seems to be no way to stop that. I keep trying to remind myself to relish it all because not one single solitary person knows what tomorrow will bring. I am totally grateful for the miracle which I encountered this evening as I sat surrounded by these beautiful “grand adults” who know what it means to love and enjoy the company of each other. May it continue for many years.
Nina can be reached at [email protected]