The teen years can be a time of immense growth and self-discovery, but for many teenagers, it can also be a time where social struggles are highlighted, impacting their mental health significantly. Both preteens and teens missed out on a lot of crucial social-emotional development at the beginning of COVID, when schools and classes met virtually; almost five years later, we continue to see the impact of the pandemic on our clients today. Challenges like bullying, loneliness, and navigating social dynamics have become increasingly common in preteens and teens. These difficulties can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Research has found that teens who feel isolated or unsupported in their social lives are at a greater risk of struggling with their mental health.

It is not always obvious when a teen is struggling socially. If you are a parent to a teen or work in a middle or high school, here are some signs to look out for:

Struggles with making friends;

Struggles to maintain friendships and relationships;

Does not get together with friends outside of school;

Does not text or speak to friends outside of school; and/or

Does not have many positive social interactions (in girls this will often look like a lot of “drama” among friend groups, with on-again, off-again friendships).

Unfortunately, low self-esteem often plays a big role in causing social issues in teens. Teens who may have previously experienced social rejection may especially struggle to put themselves out there socially, thus causing further social isolation.

So what can you do?

If you suspect that your child is struggling socially, do not dismiss it. Talk to your teen about how they feel things are going socially for them. If they are receptive to your help, try to brainstorm with them about where they may be able to find peers who are similar to them so that they can begin building more meaningful connections with others. Think about what your teen is interested in and encourage them to engage in activities where they will find others who share similar interests. Examples may include joining the school play, getting into a school club, doing an extracurricular activity or volunteering somewhere. Having access to like-minded peers is the first step towards finding realistic social opportunities.

The next task is more difficult, though, because it involves working through both the social anxiety and self-esteem challenges that are present, as well as using complex social skills that may not come naturally to your teen.

This is where group therapy can come into play.

Group therapy may sound like an intimidating thing for a teen to try. They may ask, “What if I know someone there?” “What if it’s weird?” or “What if I feel awkward?” However, once in the group, our clients find the experience to be validating and rewarding.

Our practice offers a variety of teen groups, all with different goals and demographics, but the common thread throughout is that all of our group members walk away with the understanding that they are not alone. Not only are they not alone, but by meeting others who have similar struggles, they learn more about themselves in the process. And by participating in group therapy, they actively (directly and indirectly) work on their social skills.

Some of our groups use a more focused social skills approach, where teens learn and practice skills in a structured, class-like format. In some of our other groups, the therapists teach these skills in a far more experiential way, where patterns of social behavior are noticed and talked about more openly in the group as they are happening. Regardless of which format of group they are in, our teen group members report feeling seen, heard and validated by one another in a way they’ve never experienced before, often leading to an increase in self-confidence.

The group therapy experience has helped our teens extrapolate these skills outside of their group therapy setting to make friends and deepen their relationships with others.

Sara Schreiber, LCSW, CGP, is the owner and founder of Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC, with offices in Teaneck, New Jersey and the Upper West Side of New York City. Sara is a certified group psychotherapist and has presented nationally on the topic of adolescent group therapy. In her practice, Sara supervises a preteen group and four teen groups, while leading a college process group and an adult process group. To learn more about group or individual therapy services at Collaborative Minds Psychotherapy LLC, visit www.collaborativeminds.net or email [email protected].