Since October 7, many unaffiliated Jews have become more interested in connecting with their Jewish heritage and community. The Stamford Jewish Experience (SJE) is a new initiative, working toward the goal of forging a path to reconnection. Founded by Rabbi Daniel Cohen of Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, the SJE is offering Jewish young adults opportunities to engage with their Judaism, and discover a sense of community. Inspired by the Manhattan Jewish Experience (MJE), Rabbi Cohen has brought a similar model to Stamford, giving unaffiliated and less-affiliated suburban Jews in their 20s and 30s the tools to live a Jewish life.

Rabbi Cohen’s passion for outreach has been a defining feature of his leadership. He believes that a synagogue’s mission extends beyond serving its members to include reaching those on the periphery of the community. Agudath Sholom, with its diverse membership, reflects this philosophy, but Rabbi Cohen saw an unmet challenge: “being mindful about young people who are not a part of a Jewish community.”

Rabbi Cohen had dreamed of a local outreach program for a while. When the opportunity to apply for a grant from the United Jewish Federation materialized, he decided to make it a reality. The grant provided the resources to launch a program modeled after Rabbi Mark Wildes’ MJE, with tailored events to meet the needs of Stamford’s young professional Jewish population. Rabbi Cohen assembled a small team of young lay leaders in his shul and together they planned gatherings designed to foster connection. They started with casual social functions, including an evening with beer in a garden and an ice skating event. These get-togethers were meant to break the ice and serve as stepping stones to deeper experiences, such as classes and Friday night Shabbat dinners.

Unlike mass outreach methods that rely on advertising or social media, SJE has grown primarily through word of mouth. Rabbi Cohen personally reaches out to young adults at local Jewish-affiliated functions (such as the local Chabad Chanukah party) and through personal introductions. “We have a nice partnership with Chabad, who also reach out to people, and we try to complement each other—we’re all after the same goal—to connect Jews to each other and connect Jews to their Judaism.” Rabbi Cohen reflected on the positive reactions he got when he approached individuals, introduced himself and then asked: “Do you want to learn about the Stamford Jewish Experience?” I was basically saying: ‘Do you want to meet more Jewish people?’”

One young man explained to Rabbi Cohen that he was raised in an interfaith household: His mother was Jewish and his father was Christian. They had both a menorah and a Christmas tree in their home. He was very excited to reconnect with his Jewish roots. Another participant, a woman who has been living in Stamford for several years, thought the only real Jewish community around was in Greenwich. She attended the ice skating event and was surprised to find Jews in Stamford. She then took the initiative to introduce others like her to Rabbi Cohen.

The program is growing organically. The SJE now has a WhatsApp group of 40-50 young adults, where the events are posted and people can interact.

Friday night Shabbat dinners are meant to be a cornerstone of the program. Several weeks ago, Rabbi Cohen and his wife hosted 30 young unaffiliated Jews for a Friday night dinner in their home. “I want these meals to be intentional,” he said. “You can have a meal for two hours with just schmoozing and eating but no meaningful conversation. At the beginning of the meal, I asked that everyone introduce themselves and share a meaningful moment from their lives. The moment you ask people to introduce themselves, they begin to open up.” The guests shared personal and inspiring stories that led to powerful moments of vulnerability and connection. One woman shared her gratitude for her mother’s recovery from a dangerous cancer. Her touching story left everyone feeling emotional.

“People are hungry for connection,” reflected Rabbi Cohen. “As I sat at the table, I literally felt like this is a new mission for our community. We have young couples that are moving in, and the Stamford community is growing organically. But just like it’s normal when something goes wrong in someone’s life to ask: ‘Why is this happening to me?’ when things are going right you also have to ask yourself: ‘Why is this happening to me?’ If God is showering me with this abundance of blessing, with all these young families in my shul who are open to inviting people, then that means we have the opportunity to reach out to young Jewish people.

“Think about it,” mused Rabbi Cohen. “If you’re single and not affiliated with a shul, what do you do on a Friday night if you want to experience a Jewish meal? If you’re in Manhattan there are actually plenty of places. But if you’re in the suburbs there’s almost no place to go.”

Brett Olsson, co-chair of the SJE steering committee with his wife, sees the program as a way to give back. He and his wife had lived in Denver until a couple of years ago, and they were unaffiliated with the shuls there. They became participants in Denver’s outreach program. “It was a great way to meet Jewish people and also to have immersive Jewish experiences like charity events or Friday night dinners. It was a step for us to be involved in a Jewish community.” When Olsson and his wife then moved to Stamford they didn’t know anyone. “The Jewish community here embraced us. It’s been a great path for us in terms of being part of a Jewish community.” The SJE steering committee works closely with Rabbi Cohen to plan events and expand the program’s reach.

Olsson emphasizes the transformative power of even small gestures. “One Shabbat dinner can be everything,” he said. “It’s a space to talk, build relationships and experience Jewish life in a meaningful way.”

Rabbi Cohen sees the Stamford Jewish Experience as part of a larger vision for the Jewish community. He believes that every synagogue should open its doors to those seeking connection.

“We would be blind to think that there aren’t other people to reach out to, whether they are married or single. We can’t be insular. This is about opening the doors of any Orthodox shul and trying to expose people to the beauty of Judaism.”

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