We all grew up hearing the adage “Silence is golden,” but what exactly was meant by those few words? I always interpreted them to mean what my parents taught me and what I tried to adhere to. That being if you do not have something nice to say about someone or a situation, say nothing. We all know that is easier said than done.
Others interpret those words to mean how beautiful it is when children are being boisterous, arguing is going on, music is way too loud and suddenly the noise tones down several decibels and calm prevails. Ah, as some would say, a “mechaya.” I have to confess that we were guilty of that feeling, for when our wonderful children would visit and after several days as they drove away, there was a certain peace in our home, which we did not interpret as sadness but as “phew,” things are back to being calm (now we can clean up). Actually, one of the things my late husband and I relished in our relationship was the fact that we were so comfortable in each other’s company that it didn’t matter if we were in conversation or not. The fact that we were alone together in our home gave us a warm feeling of satisfaction. Just knowing that we were there together was more than enough to make us feel great.
Fast forward to the year 2025 and I have learned to literally hate the silence in our home. You wake to nothing, you return home to nothing and the walls are not great company. How sad it is that here in the Teaneck/Bergenfield community no one has ever thought of building a senior development of homes like they have in Lakewood, where everyone I know who lives there is loving every moment. Individual homes, privacy, minyanim, camaraderie if you want it, and lots of other activities. It is true, most relocating there have children living in nearby areas. I would think here there would certainly be a mad rush to buy if there were such a project near our communities.
I no longer need a clock in order to tell the time in the morning. I have become much more sensitive to so many sounds that I never noticed before. At 6 a.m., there is a slight flow of traffic driving on New Bridge and by 7:30 the number of cars driving by really picks up. I now notice exactly when the garbage truck comes to pick up our receptacles, and when they release them from their jaws of something it is with a slight thump. Usually that occurs slightly before the traffic seems to pick up. How sad it is that those sounds have become my assurance that life is continuing on.
Of course, the radio goes on immediately so I can be sure that I haven’t missed anything new in the world. Although some of my family has laughed when I mention that I listen to the radio, they have no understanding that the voice of whomever is speaking keeps me company. Soon, according to them, the world of radio will be passe. Personally, I would rather listen to the news than read it on my phone and all of the Israeli sites that I do read keep me informed of what is really significant to me. The Canadian and Mexican tariffs will affect me, but I do not need to hear that as soon as the news is announced. I don’t need to tell anyone that with our new president (who most of us voted for), things seem to change by the day anyway. It is not something that I care to read about.
By sharing my thoughts, my intention is not to have people feel sorry for me, but to encourage everyone who knows someone who is alone to knock on their door and say hello. Do not in any way interpret their isolation as a personal choice. Many people have nowhere to go and are living in a world of deep loneliness. Do not wait until times of crisis to attend to the needs of such people. Vibrant souls are being left to the sounds of silence. There has to be a better way.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
