On the 14th of Adar, we celebrate Purim. The principal mitzvot of the holiday are reading Megillat Esther, giving gifts to the poor, sending packages of food and drink to friends, and holding a Purim feast. But the holiday includes many other customs, too, such as banging raashanim, eating hamantaschen and, of course, dressing up in costumes. The Lubavitcher Rebbe called on us to learn an important lesson from the costumes:

“When we see someone dressed up on Purim as a frightening animal or a clown, it doesn’t occur to us to be angry or afraid, or to take that person seriously. After all, it’s just a costume. But in everyday life we frequently meet people who seem to be walking around in disguise. One is disguised as someone arrogant, another as someone vulgar, and a third as someone apathetic — but what we see is not a true reflection of who these people really are.

“Sometimes our children also disguise themselves in a similar fashion and exhibit negative behaviors. In all these cases, we need to look deeper into their inner purity and goodness, and reinforce it. We can even help them to remove the inauthentic costumes that they sometimes wear. We have seen many times how, in a moment of truth, the true essence of the person underneath is revealed when they remove their costume.

“The Jews of the Megillah disguised themselves as completely assimilated into the culture of ancient Persia, but when faced with Haman’s decree to exterminate them, they were reminded of who they were and their true identity was suddenly revealed.

“We also wear a disguise sometimes. We need to look upon each other with love and understanding, knowing that whatever objectionable behavior we may see is not a reflection of the person within. We must take this awareness with us from Purim and keep it fresh in our minds throughout the year.”

A Revolutionary View of Happiness

At the beginning of Megillat Esther, Achashveirosh holds an extravagant feast that is nothing more than an exercise in showing off. It is a celebration of silver, gold and alcohol. In contrast to this mistaken and empty worldview of happiness, at the end of the Megillah, Esther brings the nation to a state of “light and happiness, joy and glory” (Esther 8:15). How does Esther express her joy? After the feast, she teaches us the meaning of true happiness through the mitzvot we perform until today:

First, happiness within the family circle — a festive meal that is an intimate family gathering and not just for show.

Second, happiness through community connections — sending packages of food and drink to one another to strengthen social ties.

And finally, helping those in need, caring for others and sending gifts to those who have less.

That is how we rejoice.

The equation of what makes us happy is completely reversed. Instead of conspicuous consumption and self-aggrandizement, we look outside of ourselves and learn that giving to those who surround us increases happiness. Instead of thinking that the more we receive, the happier we will be, Esther teaches us that the more we give, the happier we will be.

The Right Choice

I heard the following explanation on the meaning of Purim from Ron Dermer. When he was Israel’s ambassador to the United States, he hosted a Purim party where he explained how he understood the Megillah, both historically and in our times.

“Faced with Haman’s vile decree and the threat to exterminate all the Jews, Mordechai comes to Esther and tells her something fascinating. Usually, we would expect Mordechai to plead before Esther, to beg her to save the Jewish people. But here, he does not plead. Instead, he encourages her to make the right decision: ‘Do not think that you will escape [the fate of] all the Jews by being in the king’s palace. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and salvation will come to the Jews from another source, and you and the house of your father will be lost. And who knows if it is not for just such a moment that you reached this royal position” (Esther 4:13–14). Mordechai does not ask Esther to save the Jewish people, but to save herself. The nation will survive, the question is what role Esther will play. Esther chose correctly, and therefore we sit here tonight and read Megillat “Esther” in her name. If she had chosen otherwise, we would still be here, “relief and salvation will come to the Jews from another source,” but Esther would have made an eternal error.

“We too must check where our life’s path is leading us and what our role will be, not only in saving others but in saving ourselves, in connecting with our destiny and with the eternal destiny of the Jewish people.”

Parashat Ki Tisa:
Fragile—Handle With Care

Moshe was instructed to carve two new tablets to replace the first ones that he had shattered because of the sin of the Golden Calf. The second set, which had the same Ten Commandments engraved on them, signified the start of a new era of reconciliation.

The new era, however, did not erase the past and from now on the Children of Israel would continue their journey through the wilderness carrying both the shattered and the whole tablets, which our sages say lay side by side in the Ark. This is not simply a technical description of their physical location, but a spiritual teaching. Wherever the Children of Israel wander, they will carry with them their sin and forgiveness, the shattered and the whole. The same applies to any individual who has sinned and repented.

Cracks were formed in the idyllic existence, but from a certain perspective the new reality is even more whole. Those who have overcome crises or downturns will testify that they emerged stronger and more mature. Life’s journey will continue, but they now possess the knowledge that it is more complex, with ups and downs, and it is the memory of these failures which gives them the strength to carry on. There is nothing more whole than a broken heart.

Translated by Yehoshua Siskin

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