At least one parent in a family has gone with their newly turned 16- or 17-year-old to take their road test for their driver’s license. All of us have sat there thinking about what we will say to comfort them if they don’t pass. “It’s OK, the guy probably was not paying attention to how careful you were.”

And of course when they practically fly into the car with a huge smile on their face you know that they passed. It’s exciting, it’s great and definitely a milestone for a teenager anxious to get his license and be “free.” We’ve been through this. I was crazy enough to take our daughter Chavie for her test, driving about 50 kilometres from Montreal to St. Jerome, a city toward the North in the foothills of the Laurentians. We were going there because when she became eligible to take her test there was no time slot in Montreal available for at least two to three weeks. Who could wait? So off we went. Yes, she passed!

I have been thinking about this because I am scared when I see a young person driving down Thames into Westminster without giving a thought to the fact that he should be yielding. I think about this situation when I see kids making what I believe is called a rolling stop or in many cases no stop at a prominent stop sign. What happened to all that was discussed and learned in those driving lessons? I heard recently that many only take three lessons. I must be missing something. I had the good fortune of taking drivers ed in my high school.

Interesting to me is the euphoria in many families when their (generally) eldest gets his/her license. Mom can stop being a chauffeur and a new shopping person is now available to pick up whatever is missing on the grocery list. It does sound as though it could be a huge help. Yet I wonder how many have considered whether or not the new licensee actually has enough driving experience to do the things that we ask of them. Probably the most dangerous places for them to be driving are in parking areas surrounding malls. Please think about it before you hand them the keys.

I do not know about everyone else, but zooming onto Route 4 from many of the local exits and entrances is a feat in itself. Are these kids ready for that? I remember when I got my senior license, which I think in New York State at the time meant you had to reach your 17th birthday. My parents gave me permission to drive the car alone only in Jericho after I had the license for several months. I do not know how many of you have ever been to Jericho, Long Island, but it was not very big when I lived there. Whoopee, I could go to the local supermarket, Waldbaum’s. There was literally nowhere else to go except to the local high school, which I for sure was not allowed to do. Please do not tell anyone, but one day while my parents were out of town I actually took their car and drove into the city to visit this guy at YU who I did marry many years later. (It wasn’t like it is today. If you didn’t have money to support yourself you didn’t get married.) There I am, slowly and nervously driving the car onto the Long Island Expressway through the Queens Midtown Tunnel and onto the FDR at the ripe age of 17. My parents would have killed me, and if I think about it reasonably now I would have killed me also. I know that it is this great surge of independence that everyone wants to experience. I made it to YU and back. The secret is among all of us but I would have fainted if one of my children had done something similar.

I understand the wanderlust that the kids today feel once that license is issued to them. The role of being a parent becomes even more difficult at that point, as in many cases it would be much easier to allow your child to drive by himself. Being a parent means that one has the right to say no. It only takes one second for something to happen and that goes for all of us as well. However, I feel that someone who does not have the same skills, which in many cases come with experience, is definitely at greater risk. None of us know who the person is driving next to us. As time goes by and the young driver exhibits more skills and experience we will hope that he is more equipped to handle difficult situations with more confidence. I have many grandchildren who are driving that I worry about and will most likely read this article. I love you all and have never told you what to do. Fortunately for me that job is now up to your parents!