My sister-in-law, Meira Spivak, wrote a short book entitled How To Make Pesach In Five Days. The book is great for those making Pesach for the first time or who just want a quick fun read. If my wife, Debra, were to write such a book, I believe it would be entitled How To Make Pesach In Five Months. Debra, the great planner, has spreadsheet menus out to family no later than February and job lists for those living in our house on what is to be cleaned and by what date. A 11×17 planning sheet sits on our refrigerator with copies in each family member’s room just in case.
The calendar never ends. Once Pesach is over, it’s time to gear up for Sukkot. Both holidays fill our home with a parade of guests, something that harks back to the holidays of my youth. I could always relate to the Maharal of Prague, who divides the calendar into two halves: Pesach to Sukkot and Sukkot to Pesach. We Spivaks pretty much live like the Maharal, with nice smaller stops planning for the rest of the chagim: Our secret themed Purim costume and soup for the congregation, Shavuot learning theme, Kinnot Zoom experience and the shul Chanukah carnival.
My wife may be the general in charge of overall strategy, but my role (outside of the usual cleanup and changing over the kitchen) is coming up with a Seder theme. This wasn’t something that I was used to in my Seders as I was growing up. Our Seders were great, with my cousins teaching us new songs and my grandfather rushing to finish while we tried to slow him down. But it wasn’t as focused on “fun” as most kids understand it. So we felt that themes would help.
Creating a theme for the Seder is no easy task. The Haggadah lists the four sons who come to the Seder. We try to cater to those four different types of people and also try to relate it to guests of different ages and background experiences. Throughout the years, we have tried many different concepts out there, attempting to bring the Seder alive for the youngest children and still make it interesting for adults, including nonagenarians. One rule that is hard to follow is to make sure the Seder does not drag, although there have been many Seders that I am left with a sparse group singing Chad Gad Ya while doing my animal effects and hand gestures during each part of the song.
I would love to say that my Seder prep starts with the divrei Torah that I will be using for my shul speeches and those that I will be saying at the Seder. The truth is it always starts with a Google search for any new shtick that I can find and I rarely have the opportunity to offer my own divrei Torah at the Seder as I leave that up to the children and guests.
In terms of shtick, I will grab anything that I can get my hands on. We have all the puppets, jumping frogs and plague masks that everyone else has. I have all the shtick books, such as “300 Ways to Ask the Four Questions,” Haggadah comics and children’s books. We have all different types of costumes—Egyptian costumes, prisoner costumes, biblical costumes and even under-the-sea ones. I usually dress up as Pharaoh for the beginning of Maggid. We decorate the room with whatever the theme that year is; for example, one year we used the table as Bnei Yisroel going through the sea with different shades of blue and green plastic cloths and fish on the walls, brown paper on the floor as sand and a picture of Israel at the other end of the room. Another year, we made the room look like an art gallery and had all the children paint the makkot on canvases. One year, I even blew up pictures from the movie The Ten Commandments and photoshopped all the children present as the different characters. We have Seder bingo and puzzles, and Pesach rebuses for everyone to look at during slow moments. I never tried this, but one family I know put their lights on a timer and had them go off at the plague of choshech. One of the most popular shticks is my marshmallow gun and candy jar that I either shoot or use to provide candy treats when someone asks a good question. So as not to upset the parents, I allow all recipients to trade in the sweets for prizes.
Usually, the children are the easier part of the theme. For the adults, everyone expects a certain amount of divrei Torah and we encourage those attending to prepare one. Breaking up the seder for the participants is helpful so that everyone can get a chance to prepare and share. Cards under the plates for talking points, such as “Tell me a story from a Pesach of your youth” allows those last-minute guests to participate. The marshmallow gun is usually as much of a hit with the adults as it is with the children. The trick to a fun and interactive Seder is all in the preparation. You might be able to make a seder in five days, but if you want it to be a true success, you need to put some thought into it.
Rabbi Marc Spivak is the spiritual leader of Congregation Ohr Torah in West Orange.
