Every night our girls—6 and 3 years old—each chooses a book to be read during their shared bedtime routine. While they truly adore a range of classics and new books, “5 Minute Stories” and Mo Willems, they tend to come back to Little Golden Books. When my oldest was born, a colleague and friend got us a set of Little Golden Classic and Disney Golden Classics, and my older daughter tends to gravitate toward the Little Golden Classics, especially as now she has been able to practice reading them on her own.

Just last week, she chose “The Tawny Scrawny Lion,” illustrated by Gustaf Tenggren and written by Kathryn Jackson, originally published in 1952. As my husband and I rotate bedtime, I hadn’t read this one yet. This book has 23 pages of content. And what struck me most was that the word “fat” was written 21 times. Unapologetically. As a descriptor.

The tawny, scrawny lion tends to eat many of the animals in his environment and as the story goes, the habitat is tired of this. While I won’t spoil it for you, he is essentially hoping to eat some “fat little rabbits.” OK, mild spoiler: The rabbits are totally fine.

Now as I was reading this book aloud to my two girls, I knew I had a choice: read the book as is, or skip over this descriptor. And I absolutely read the book—word for word—as it was written. “Fat” has become a word that tends to make people uncomfortable. It is used not simply to describe someone or something, but as a throwaway insult. We flinch at the word “fat,” confuse it with a feeling, and people go to great lengths to avoid being viewed this way.

But we also have a choice about how we want to use, avoid or respond to this word. This book used “fat” at face value—not in a derogatory manner, simply to provide information to the reader. Had I avoided the word I would have been colluding with a world that places judgment on those in a bigger body. And had I paused and commented on it with a statement such as, “Hey—that’s not a nice word” then in that moment I would have simply taught my girls that fat is bad. And despite what the diet and wellness industry teach, I do not believe this. Our society has taught us that fat is bad. People over-rely on correlations in the medical field and under-accept when research has disproved some beliefs. Because people want to believe that if they “fix” their bodies, their lives will be simpler, ignoring the existential and internal processes or the way they actually feel about themselves, others or the world.

Had the book used the word “fat” in a judgmental way, I would have paused for a teachable moment. To discuss why negative speech or judgment about others is never OK and also to acknowledge how silly it is that this book shows the word “fat” as bad, when we know it is just a word to describe and is not bad! And I would have discussed why we should not comment on others’ bodies to ensure that while we do not view this word negatively, we also do not throw it around casually as this could accidentally cause insult and also feel confusing to them. I would show my girls that despite people being misguided, we do not need to subject ourselves to the diet industry’s definitions. (A discussion that many of us have had to have with our children in the context of what it is like to be a Jew.)

But if I had avoided the word, reacted to it with shame or commented on how it is bad, I simply would have prolonged a hateful, harmful message. So I read it. With low energy. And the girls listened. And then we sang Shema and their goodnight songs and they went to sleep.

I understand that I may not single-handedly change the way the word “fat” is used in the world. But I do believe that if we all approached the word just a bit differently, we could create that change. Maybe it starts with not using the word as an insult, not laughing at a particular joke. Or maybe it starts with reading a classic book and practicing saying the word—as a word.

Temimah Zucker, LCSW, works in New York and New Jersey with individuals ages 18 and older who are struggling with mental health concerns, and she specializes in working with those looking to heal their relationships between their bodies and souls. Zucker is an advocate and public speaker concerning eating disorder awareness and a metro New York consultant at Monte Nido. She is honored to now serve on the board of Atzmi. To learn more or to reach her, visit www.temimah.com.